Arkansas’ new linebacker Bumper Pool signed his letter of intent right on cue.

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What, some dude named Bocce Ball wasn’t available?

Among Arkansas’ crop of college-football signees this offseason: a four-star linebacker named Bumper Pool.

To no one’s surprise, he’s unusually adept at bouncing off blockers.

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “Jimmy Garoppolo offers Tom Brady a loan to help him build his struggling supplement business.”

• At TheOnion.com: “Olympic drug-testing official left horribly disfigured after coming into contact with Russian urine.”

Let’s go to replay

Collectors suing Giants QB Eli Manning for memorabilia fraud claim that four of the five helmets they acquired did not match what was sold as game-used memorabilia and that Manning likely never wore them in a game.

Which, if proven, certainly puts a whole new spin on the term “fake handoff.”

Dunking for dollars

According to SportsBettingDime.com, the over-under prop bet for the number of dunks in Sunday’s NBA All-Star Game is 40.5.

And the over-under for charging fouls drawn or traveling violations whistled is 0.5.

(OK, just kidding on that last sentence.)

Make vroom for Manning

Ex-NFL quarterback Peyton Manning will serve as honorary pace-car driver for Sunday’s Daytona 500.

Race strategists are predicting a record number of passes.

Too much cheer

Referees ejected an Arizona cheerleader for yelling at opposing players through his megaphone during the Wildcats’ 77-70 basketball win over rival Arizona State on Thursday night.

He was reportedly released on his own personal recognizance for 2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a dollar.

Bad case of Sunburn

The Phoenix Suns lost seven straight games by an average margin of 24.3 points — including drubbings of 48 points by the Spurs, 46 by the Warriors and 32 by the Jazz — to open their February schedule.

“Hey, try coming up with your own shtick,” complained the Washington Generals.

Putting for Snow Dept.

On the Motor City’s social calendar this month: Ice Tee Golf, featuring a nine-hole layout on frozen Big Detroit Lake.

And if you thought you’d experienced fast-playing greens before …

Eagle has landed

Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz has proposed to his girlfriend.

Philly fans can only hope that when he took a knee to pop the question, he chose the one he didn’t have surgery on.

Talking the talk

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on the downside of his wife watching the Super Bowl — her very first NFL game: “Now she’s sure I wasn’t a catch.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Jamie Anderson won Olympic gold in slopestyle. “Millions of Americans: ‘USA! USA! USA! … What’s slopestyle’?”

That’s no rosin bag

Ex-MLB pitcher Esteban Loaiza faces three felony drug charges — including possession of 44 pounds of heroin and cocaine — after being arrested in San Diego.

At least the MLB and police scouting reports match up: He had some pretty nasty stuff.

More headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Schnauzers rioting outside Madison Square Garden following Westminster Dog Show defeat.”

• At TheKicker.com: “Cool! Warriors to let fans, opposing players coach as well.”

• At Fark.com: “Reuben Foster of the San Francisco 49ers arrested. This is not a repeat from last month.”

Dangling chads, anyone?

Are you as tired of politics and sports intruding on the other’s turf as we are?

Recruiting experts had barely declared Georgia as the national football-recruiting winner when Alabama fans claimed the electoral college.

Tweet of the Week

Chunky golfer John Daly, via Twitter, on the U.S. skeleton competitor of the same name: “Just want to make it clear … it’s not me sliding head-first, but I probably can kill it w/a belly flop!”

Quote marks

• Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after Hawks forward DeAndre’ Bembry was arrested for driving 128 mph: “He is averaging 4.8 points a game, but that just got him 12 points on his driver’s license.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb) World-Herald, on the XFL vowing not to allow any players with a criminal record: “I hope they’re willing to play eight-man football.”

• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on the Winter Olympics: “Curling, skeleton, frostbite — all of the wintry sports we love are back.”

• Comedy writer Tim Hunter, with a sure sign you need to cut down your TV time watching the Winter Olympics: “You’re asked how your day went and you hold up a card that says ‘6.4’.”

• Comic Torben Rolfsen, on the added benefit of mixed-doubles curling: “Great practice for couples yelling at each other.”

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express, after a downhill skier was clocked going 96 mph: “That’s crazy fast.”

• Washout QB Johnny Manziel, to Barstool Sports, nixing a possible return to the Browns: “I think we’ve kind of crossed that bridge, and if anything that bridge is probably still flaming a little bit.”

• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on why the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show featured three brand-new breeds this year: “Last year’s after-party got way out of hand.”