Dropping dimes? Why, yes — 80,000 of them.

Houston Rockets guard Russell Westbrook thanked the housekeeping staff at Orlando’s Grand Floridian hotel with a huge assist — an $8,000 tip — as he departed the NBA bubble.

“They took great care of us,” Westbrook told Bleacher Report. “Took the time and energy to do their job at a high level. That was the right thing. I like to do the right thing.”

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Mitch Trubisky studying game tapes in hopes of discovering what Bears saw in him in first place.”

• At Fark.com: “Swiss Skydiver wins Preakness. Odd, would have thought a horse would win.”

Political baseball

Mike Pence inspired a torrent of social-media memes during last week’s vice-presidential debate when a fly shockingly landed on his head.

“I can certainly feel his pain,” said Jose Canseco.

Inflategate?

NFL games have averaged 51.3 points through the first four weeks, the highest per-game rate since the 1970 AFL-NFL merger.

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History tells us there can be only one possible explanation: The footballs are juiced!

Electoral college

To no one’s surprise, AP pollsters voted Clemson and Alabama a runaway 1-2 in the latest rankings of:

a) major-college football

b) the NFC East

Letter rip

With the Cowboys yielding 36.5 points and 430.5 yards a game, just gotta ask: When will allas get its D back?

Coincidence?

Patriots QB Cam Newton and Chiefs practice-squad QB Jordan Ta’amu — who played the role of Newton in K.C. practices — were the only players to test positive for COVID-19 before their teams’ Week 4 matchup.

Conspiracy theorists, start your snap counts.

Sour Grapes Dept.

Provincial authorities have told the Ontario Hockey League that if it wants to play amid a pandemic this season that it will have to ban bodychecking and fighting.

In a related story, Don Cherry’s head just exploded.

Football quiz

Q: What did SMU — whose entire student section got ejected from the Mustangs’ Oct. 3 game against Memphis for refusing to follow coronavirus protocols — and John McKay’s legendary USC football teams have in common?

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A: The student body left.

Paging Sen. Trebek

“Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek took part in this year’s NHL draft, announcing, “With the third pick in the 2020 NHL draft, the Ottawa Senators choose this player. … Who is Tim Stützle?”

Sens fans just hope they’re not asking that same question five years from now.

Roadrunner alert

Two distance runners — Uganda’s Joshua Cheptegei (men’s 10,000 meters) and Ethiopia’s Letesenbet Gidey (women’s 5,000) — shattered world records by 6 and 4 seconds less than an hour apart in Valencia, Spain, using controversial ZoomX Dragonfly spikes ordered from:

a) Nike

b) Acme

Tex mess

The Houston Texans fired coach/GM Bill O’Brien, who left behind an 0-4 start and no first- or second-round draft picks next year.

Forget N95 masks: Whoever inherits this mess might just want to go full Hazmat.

Cora! Cora! Cora!

Will the Red Sox bring back exiled manager Alex Cora, banned this past season for his role in the Astros’ signal-stealing scandal?

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A lot of signs certainly point to it. And advocates are banging the drum for him. … OK, sorry.

Talking the talk

• Blogger Patti Dawn Swansson, on rumors of a Manny Pacquiao-Conor McGregor bout next year: “No one is saying where or when the fist fight will be held. I think we should keep it that way.”

• From NFL Memes on Facebook: “We are officially in the fourth quarter of 2020. Man, I hope we are playing the Falcons.”

• Steve Sabol of NFL Films, on what it was like to tackle the late Gale Sayers: “Like trying to catch a candy wrapper in a windstorm.”

• Times reader Brad Bogar, after Oklahoma QB Spencer Rattler threw game-costing interceptions in back-to-back weeks: “That kid is really snakebit.”

High-shticking

Seattle Thunderbird Matt Rempe, taken 165th overall by the New York Rangers in last week’s NHL draft, is a hockey unicorn — a 6-foot-8 center.

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To no one’s surprise, he’s also quite adept at going top shelf.

Quote marks

• Phil Mushnick of the New York Post, on the Astros’ George Springer surpassing Babe Ruth on the postseason home-run list: “Makes sense. Ruth went homerless in wild-card, divisional-championship and league-championship games.”

• Blogger Chad Picasner, no fan of sports clichés: “Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I prefer my sports described in English. My players jump, they do not elevate. Running north and south only works if the stadium is facing that way.”

• Mike Hart of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, on the Packers’ bye week amid a pandemic: “The players will have a lot of spare time. So they might want to master grabbing the facemask.”

LeBron $core$

Lakers superstar LeBron James now owns three mansions in Beverly Hills or Brentwood — purchased for $36,500,000, $23,000,000 and $21,000,000.

Or as his banker prefers to call it, a triple-double million.

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Quote, end quote

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on rooting for Houston manager Dusty Baker to win a World Series ring also means the tainted Astros would have to win it all: “Life is complicated.”

• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, via Twitter: “Something is wrong when there are more brawls in the first presidential debate than in the entire Stanley Cup Finals.”

• @rslashpatriots, via Twitter: “The Jets are 750:1 to win the Super Bowl, meaning if you bet $100 on it, you would lose $100.”

• Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Watching Cardinals reliever Daniel Ponce de Leon never gets old.”