No kidding — Simone Biles got reverse-carded at the airport.
The 4-foot-7 world-champion gymnast was mistaken for a child when she caught a flight home after receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom this month.
“The flight attendant (tried) to give me a coloring book when I board…” she wrote on Instagram. “I said, ‘No, I’m good, I’m 25.’
“The other flight attendant gave me a mimosa, so we’re in the clear.”
Even better, the pilot stuck the landing.
• At TheOnion.com: “Conference realignment continues as Florida State joins Ivy League.”
• At Fark.com: “Gronk done with football in game of life.”
A group of farmers and unemployed youngsters have been busted for running a fake Indian Premier League, streaming staged cricket matches online and swindling Russian bettors out of thousands of dollars.
But we’ll never know how it turned out. The scam was detected before it reached the championship round.
They do run-run
This regional qualifying score just in from Japan’s 104th National High School Baseball Championship: Chiba Gakugei 82, Wasegaku 0.
Chiba Gakugei scored 32 in the first and 33 in the second and, all told, hit 17 homers before the 10-run “mercy” rule kicked in the fifth.
They don’t run-run
Expect to see a lot of Tigers scouts at Chiba Gakugei games.
Detroit has been shut out 12 times this year.
“Ten Men Out” is the story of:
• The probe to unearth two more culprits in the 1919 Black Sox scandal
• How the Blue Jays somehow lost 3-1 despite the Royals leaving 10 anti-vaxxers home
Updated USC motto: Student Body Left … for the Big Ten.
Yankees, stay home!
Whatever happened to the age-old adage of baseball, hot dogs and apple pie?
For the first time since 1915, the Yankees were not scheduled to play on the Fourth of July.
Talking the talk
• Comedy writer Paul Lander, on Tiger Woods’ tearful goodbye after missing the cut at the British Open: “Please, please, please, let someone else drive him off into the sunset.”
• Nick Canepa of The San Diego Union-Tribune, on three Bears players arrested over the past few months: “So Chicago has taken the early lead in the NFC North.”
Asking for a lot
Jazz GM Danny Ainge demanded six No. 1 draft picks and four players from the Knicks when they inquired about a Donovan Mitchell trade, The Athletic reported.
Apparently the Statue of Liberty has a no-trade clause.
How did The Ohio State University beat The Open to trademarking The?
Quote, end quote
• Seattle Mariners, via Twitter, after Ty France’s two-run single completed a comeback from a 5-1 deficit and give Seattle a 6-5 win, its 11th straight: “France comes up clutch on Bastille Day.”
• Competitive eater Joey Chestnut, to SI.com, on why he likes Thanksgiving more than the Fourth of July: “Everybody’s a competitive eater on Thanksgiving.”
• Dan Martin of the New York Post, on baseball’s runaway leader: “The Yankees are starting to look like Secretariat in the Belmont Stakes.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com: “It’s midnight. Do you know in which conference your college football team is in?”
He’s in the money
The three-year career stats of oft-injured Zion Williamson, who some got a max deal — five years, $193 million — out of the Pelicans:
• Field-goal %: .604
• Free-throw %: .683
• Games-played %: .376
The new deal pencils out to roughly $471,000 per game — or $1.25 million per if he continues his 38% clip.
• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on Central Florida signing a 13-year multimedia deal for a guaranteed $125 million: “Or as I like to call it, ‘The Big 12 Facilities and NIL Fund.’ ”
• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the Commanders owner playing cat-and-mouse with Congress: “Dan Snyder would love to have a running back as shifty as he is.”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on the International Olympic Committee reinstating Jim Thorpe’s gold medals in the 1912 Olympics: “In an equally timely move, the IOC strongly feels women should be allowed to vote.”