Think there might have been a bicycle kick involved?

A purse-snatcher in Vasteras, Sweden, who tried to make his getaway on a bike picked the wrong person to witness it — Manchester United defender Victor Lindelof, who collared the perp and held him until police arrived.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Smithsonian unearths historic 1939 recording of sports-radio host criticizing Lou Gehrig’s commitment to baseball.”

• At Fark.com: “The Nebraska Karenhuskers are ready to sue the Big Ten over college football.”

Just a bit outside

That 6½-foot asteroid hurtling our way has only a 0.41% chance of striking Earth, astronomers say.

Or, to put it in terms a baseball fan can understand, there’s a 99.59% chance that Angel Hernandez would call it a strike.

Catch of the day

A one-of-a-kind Mike Trout baseball card — a 2009 Bowman Chrome Draft Prospects Superfractor signed rookie card — sold at auction for a record $3,936,000.

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Or more than twice what the average Tampa Bay Ray got paid last season.

He’s outta here

The Ravens cut Earl Thomas loose after he punched a teammate during practice.

In other words, they simply converted him into a different kind of free safety.

Two-and-done

The NHL fined Columbus coach John Tortorella $25,000 after he exited a postgame media conference after fielding two questions.

“So why’d he get fined then?” asked Blue Jackets media flack Marshawn Lynch.

Through the woof

Owning a dog is a plus for men trying to get a date, according to Dr. Helen Fisher, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.

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And it’s double-bonus points if you just so happen to own the Knicks.

On the outs

The Padres — down to their final out with no one on base — somehow mustered up seven runs to shock Seattle, 10-7.

Probably not what Mariners fans had in mind when they cooked up their “Two Outs, So What!” mantra.

Paging a swing doctor

If top golfer Brooks Koepka has surgery after the season to repair his balkly left knee, insiders say, the goal is twofold:

Cure the slice. Replace the divot.

Talking the talk

• TNT commentator Charles Barkley, on Paul George’s postseason resume: “You can’t be calling yourself Playoff P and lose all the time. … They don’t call me Championship Chuck.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after sprint icon Usain Bolt tested positive for COVID-19: ”Puts a whole new meaning on ‘You can run but you cannot hide.’ ”

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• Vagabond NFL coach Wade Phillips, noting his 11th anniversary as @sonofbum on Twitter: “Thanks for the kind words, and also all the free advice on how to coach!”

Wishful thinking

The Brooklyn Nets are interested in hiring Gregg Popovich away from the Spurs as their next head coach, The Athletic reported.

And in a related story, the Jets covet Bill Belichick and we’d like to win the Lotto.

Quick takes

• Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune, on the folly of trying to play football amid campus COVID spikes: “Have most of our colleges been in business a few months? They seem shocked students prefer partying to rules.”

• Bob Molinaro, in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the same subject: “When dealing with easily transmissible viruses, dorms are cruise ships without the water.”

• Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun: “Unwritten rules in baseball aren’t worth the paper they’re not written on.”

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• Sally Jenkins of The Washington Post, on the latest salvo of sleaze coming from the Washington Football Team: “This is what the NFL gets for not scraping Daniel Snyder off its shoe before now.”

A cut above

All-Pro safety Jamal Adams, whom the Seahawks gave up two first-round draft picks to acquire, missed Wednesday’s practice after he sliced a finger while cutting up strawberries, requiring stitches.

Or as he prefers to call the needlework: hash marks.

Quote marks

• Blogger Gregg Drinnan, not a fan of putting a runner on second to start extra innings: “In a game between the Dodgers and Angels, the ghost runner stole third base and scored on a sacrifice fly by the leadoff hitter. Yes, a leadoff sacrifice fly.”

• Gary Bachman, via Facebook, on Aug. 22 designated as National Be An Angel Day: “Only if I get paid like Mike Trout.”

• Blogger Patti Dawn Swansson, on the fight between 50-somethings Mike Tyson and Roy Jones Jr. getting pushed back to late November: “Apparently scientists require the extra time to complete carbon-testing on the ancient pugs.”

• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, trying to look on the bright side: “With everything else going on this week, I didn’t notice whether any of baseball’s unwritten rules had been violated.”