Falling on a fumble? Phooey! This is the best recovery of Darius Leonard’s career.

The Colts linebacker lost his wedding ring when he bequeathed his game gloves to a young fan after Sunday’s 28-11 win over the Vikings — not realizing the band had come off inside when he removed the gloves.

But thanks to a quick social-media connection, Leonard and the ring will apparently be reunited.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Tom Brady not sure how to ask coach for tape of other team’s practice.”

• At Fark.com: “The PAC-12 de¢ide$ to re$ume football for $ome rea$on.”

Better call Brinks

Ravens defensive coordinator Don “Wink” Martindale says the Chiefs, who gave QB Patrick Mahomes a record $450 million extension, “could’ve paid him a billion. I’d still think he’s underpaid.”

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Baltimore QB Lamar Jackson — with an eye on his next contract — immediately fired his agent and replaced him with Wink.

The ends game

A curling robot — named Curly, of course — went 3-1 in four matches against members of South Korea’s national teams.

Even more impressive, Curly can reportedly grunt “Hurry! Hard!” in 68 languages.

Bear market

Next time you feel like bragging about your fantasy-league draft, just remember this: In 1965, in the real NFL draft, the Bears selected Gale Sayers and Dick Butkus with back-to-back first-round picks.

3-&-Ouch Dept.

Updated NFL power rankings, from @FantasyPros:

1. IR

2. Kansas City

3. Baltimore

Boulderdash!

Bryan McGinnis, Colorado’s director of football operations, was issued a citation for violating a public-health order and failure to obtain a large group permit after he allowed 100 Buffaloes players — 76 more than allowed — to take part in a mountain-trail hike.

Or as CU apologists tried to downplay the penalty, too many men on the field.

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The pew report

Spotted on the readerboard at Kirkland’s Rose Hill Presbyterian Church:

“God has no favorites

“But the sign guy does

“Go Hawks”

Chew on this

The Seahawks’ Pete Carroll was among five NFL coaches who got fined $100,000 for not wearing their facemasks properly during Week 2 games.

Apparently Pete’s old “my chewing gum kept getting stuck to the inside of it” excuse didn’t fly.

Ground rules

Army, true to form, amassed 436 yards on the ground in its opening win over Louisiana-Monroe.

Your turn, Air Force. Let’s see what you can do through the air.

No love lost

Tennis, anyone? The A’s beat the Giants in the first two games of their Bay Area series last weekend, 6-0, 6-0.

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Lots of elbow room

Because of coronavirus restrictions, only 1,000 fans per day will be allowed into this year’s French Open at 35,000-seat Roland Garros Stadium.

In other words, plenty of good seats not available.

It’s a tossup

The Kentucky High School Athletic Association, bowing to COVID-19, is replacing the opening tipoff in basketball games with a coin toss this season.

Still to be resolved: So is it Adolph Rupp or John Calipari on the heads side of the official coin?

Intentional grounding

“Neon” Deion Sanders is the new football coach at Jackson State.

So what’s the over-under for spiked clipboards this season during Tigers TD celebrations?

Food for thought

• Patriots QB Cam Newton, to reporters, on his dietary habits: “Just because I’m vegan doesn’t mean I just go outside and pick up grass and, you know, put ranch on it. … I still love good food.”

Sponsored

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on Cafe 3.440, a ski-resort restaurant located at 3,400 meters altitude in the Austrian Alps: “Great food but not much atmosphere.”

0 for 4

The University of Houston has postponed or canceled four football games in a row — against Rice, Memphis, Baylor and now North Texas — because of COVID-19.

“Now you know how I feel,” said the kid that’s always picked last in P.E. class.

Talking the talk

• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, after the Big Ten announced Ohio State and Wisconsin as the Cornhuskers’ first two opponents: “After getting a look at the schedule, Nebraska parents are heading back to court seeking an injunction to stop the football season.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the Cubs mulling a 50% cap on Wrigley Field attendance next season: “Or as the Marlins call that, ‘an opening-day crowd.’ ”

• Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune, not surprised that the Steelers are proficient in the two-minute offense: “Big Ben should be great at clock management.”

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• Mike Hart of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, sizing up last Thursday’s Dolphins-Jaguars snoozer: “This figures to be the worst prime-time show since ‘My Mother The Car.’ ”

Nice ring to it

Boxing’s teen featherweight twins, Ángel and Chávez Barrientes, have started their ring careers with two wins each, all by knockout.

That family certainly packs a 1-2 punch — but who’s the 1 and who’s the 2?

Numbers games

What a difference a year makes among NFL commentators.

Goodbye, Cover-2. Hello, COVID-19.

Quote marks

• Ryan Fitzpatrick, to reporters, on being the Dolphins’ QB at age 37: “Being in Florida for going on four years and being the elder statesman on the team, I’ve adopted more of the senior-citizen look … my waistband is sitting a little higher than it used to.”

• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the optics of college basketball’s Maui Invitational getting relocated to Asheville, North Carolina, this year: “Will coaches ditch their colorful Hawaiian shirts for red flannel?”

• Ann Killion of the San Francisco Chronicle, on starting up a football season amid a pandemic: “The Power 5 conferences like to use the phrase ‘student-athlete.’ Maybe ‘lab rat’ is more appropriate.”

• Ravens QB Lamar Jackson, to BaltimoreRavens.com, when asked what’s the first thing that pops into his mind when he hears “Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs”: “Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs.”