And the most dangerous position in the NFL is … Jaguars kicker?
Jacksonville will be abusing — er, using — its fifth kicker in five games Sunday against Detroit. The Jags’ medical list:
• Josh Lambo, Weeks 1-2 (injured hip, put on injured reserve)
• Brandon Wright, Week 3 (groin, waived)
• Aldrick Rosas, Week 4 (hip/groin, put on practice squad injured list)
• Stephen Hauschka, Week 5 (just recovered from sore leg, two missed kicks, waived)
Next man up: Jon Brown. Here’s hoping they’ve been keeping him in Bubble Wrap all week.
• At Fark.com: “NFL cancels this season’s Pro Bowl, leaving dozens of fans without a game to watch that day.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Undecided voter still hasn’t made up mind as to who won NBA Finals.”
Attention, Dan Mullen (the Florida football coach who wanted to “see 90,000 [fans] in The Swamp” for the LSU game — only to have to postpone it because so many of his players tested positive for COVID-19):
Your Karma of the Year Award awaits you down at the front desk. A gentle reminder: Just be sure when you come to pick it up you’re wearing a mask.
Fire and Ice Dept.
A Zamboni resurfacing a hockey rink in Rochester, New York, caught fire and, with the operator still on board, wildly zoomed around the ice.
No truth to reports they got it from the Calgary Flames.
The old ballgame
Archaeologists have unearthed what is believed to be history’s oldest known sports-related balls — three leather ones 3-3½ inches in diameter, estimated to be 2,900-3,200 years old — from graves in northwest China.
Now comes the hard question: Neolithic Age, or Dead-Ball Era?
Injury of the Week
Suffering from a bad ’string (OK, hamstring): Cardinals safety Chris Banjo.
Major League Baseball players extended their streak of consecutive days without a COVID-19 positive test to 47 through Thursday.
Woe to the guy who breaks up that no-hitter.
Secretariat has had more U.S. streets — 263 — named in his honor than any other athlete, according to ESPN.
Though trying to decipher a 280-furlong-per-hour speed-limit sign takes a little doing.
That’s not Phat
Truth-in-advertising laws apparently don’t apply to Tulane wideout Phat Watts, who’s 6 feet but just 190.
Making it rain
Georgia wideout George Pickens squirted Tennessee QB Jarrett Guarantano with a water bottle in front of the Bulldogs bench, earning himself an unsportsmanlike-conduct penalty.
Just gotta ask: Is this the SEC or WWE?
Just like clockwork
Rafael Nadal won the French Open for a record 13th time.
Coincidence? The sun also came up east of Paris that very same day.
Bidding for a Chiefs Super Bowl ring — belonging to practice-squad RB Mike Weber — has already reached $60,000 with two-plus weeks to go on the Goldin Auctions block.
Toss in an extra $5,000, and just maybe Patrick Mahomes will personally deliver it with a no-look pass.
Stat of the Week
How’s this for a shooting percentage: .588 — LeBron James’ 10-for-17 frequency in reaching NBA Finals.
Talking the talk
• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the passings of Lou Brock, Whitey Ford, Bob Gibson, Tom Seaver and other Hall of Famers this year: “Nice try, 2020, but these guys are immortal.”
• Ex-Columbus Dispatch sportswriter Todd Jones, via Twitter, while watching the four-OT Texas-Oklahoma game on Fox: “Imagine if Gus Johnson called the Apollo 11 moon landing.”
At least he didn’t bunt
The Bengals kicked a 38-yard field goal with 32 seconds left to avert a shutout, incensing the Ravens.
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the Georgia football player who squirted a Tennessee rival with a water bottle: “And college athletes are the young men we expect to be grown-up enough to take precautions against spreading COVID?”
• Barrett Sallee of CBSsports.com, on Alabama’s wild 63-48 win over Ole Miss: “ ‘Just enough’ defense wins championships.”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on what Tom Brady yells when he hits into the group in front of him on the golf course: “Five!”
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pliot, on Sunday’s Giants-Washington matchup pitting teams with a combined 1-9 record: “Chances are very good that one team will win the titanic clash … But it’s hard to see how.”
• Phil Mushnick of the New York Post, no fan of TV networks’ “BaseCam” being used in the playoffs: “Though it may be useful to locate a dislodged contact lens.”