Bet Mel Kiper missed this bonus baby on his big board.
“Well, if you are wondering who the real first-round pick is of the 2021 NFL draft … meet Eden,” tweeted Brittan Berry, wife of Browns GM Andrew Berry, on Thursday’s early morning birth of their third child. “Came on draft day, exactly like we asked her NOT to.”
• At Fark.com: “Arsenal fans protest owner Stan Kroenke, told to get in line behind entire city of St. Louis.”
• Young fan’s sign at a Cubs game: “Shhhhhh! I’m remote learning.”
Moving the needle
The Milwaukee Bucks offered COVID-19 vaccinations to any fans attending Sunday’s game against Brooklyn — but only the first dose of Pfizer.
You’d think a championship-caliber NBA team might have a better shot selection.
Fabio Fognini got defaulted from the Barcelona ATP tournament for “abuse of official” in his second-round match.
Which explains why he’s now known as the Earl Weaver of Tennis.
Charges 3, Steeler 0
Steelers CB Justin Layne got arrested in Ohio for felony transportation of a gun, speeding (89 in a 60 mph zone) and driving with a suspended license.
Even worse, he gets to tell it to a judge in the state the rival Browns and Bengals play in.
Rally monkey vs. four rabbit’s feet: Something’s gotta give when the Angels and the Giants meet starting May 31.
Bucs tight end Rob Gronkowski caught a football dropped from a helicopter 600-plus feet above, putting himself in the Guinness Book of World Records.
And preventing another record from being set: highest bounce of a football.
Kim Mulkey, who won NCAA women’s basketball championships like clockwork in 2005, 2012 and 2019, has bolted Baylor to take the job at LSU.
Definition of an optimistic Bears fan: “Think she might consider coming back just for 2026?”
According to research published in the Journal of Applied Physiology, there is no advantage to icing:
a) sore muscles
b) the kicker
All bats are off
Diamondbacks pitcher Zac Gallen tossed a seven-inning one-hitter against the Braves in the opener and Madison Bumgarner tossed a no-no in the nightcap.
In other words, they scheduled an MLB doubleheader and fastpitch softball broke out.
Speeding things up
For those who think starting a runner on second base in extra innings doesn’t quite go far enough, here’s a remedy:
• 10th inning: start with a runner on second
• 11th inning: start with a runner on third
• 12th inning on: start with bases loaded, full count on every batter
Time to mash
The Pioneer League will immediately proceed to a home-run derby this season instead of playing extra innings.
What could be more fitting than taters in Idaho Falls?
Talking the talk
• Cowboys linebacker Sean Lee, via Twitter, citing the team’s training staff in announcing his retirement after an 11-year, injury-plagued career: “Lord knows you earned your money working with me.”
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot: “Now that MLB seven-inning doubleheader games are here to stay, it’s time to get accustomed to the fifth-inning stretch.”
No cruiser waiting
A new street in Brockton, Massachusetts, will be named Marvin Hagler Drive in honor of the city’s middleweight boxing champion who died in March at age 66.
Local drivers, we assume, might be tempted to punch it when the light turns green.
• Hamilton Tiger-Cats receiver Jaelon Acklin, to the Hamilton Spectator, on having to scrap an appearance on a reality dating show when the Canadian Football League revised its schedule: “I haven’t had any plans for two years, and just when I do, the very next day the CFL drops that on me!”
• Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune, calling talent evaluation the most difficult thing in sports: “The distance between college and pro football is from Canton, China, to Canton, Ohio.”
• Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, to Canepa’s point: “In the 1982 baseball draft, the Jays selected David Wells in the second round and Jimmy Key in the third. The two went on to win 425 big-league games. … The Jays’ first pick, Augie Schmidt, taken second overall, never did play a major league game.”
• Jesse Spector of Deadspin.com, via Twitter: “If Aaron Rodgers is going to host ‘Jeopardy!’, then LeVar Burton should get to be the Packers quarterback. Fair is fair.”
From the Truth is Stranger than Fiction file comes word that about 900 customers in Tumbler Ridge, British Columbia, lost their internet access to hockey updates because a beaver chewed through a fiber cable and used the shreds to build its dam.
Quote, end quote
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on a Wall Street Journal report saying psychologists can consistently pick the loser of a fight by seeing who enters the fray with the biggest, toothiest smile: “Good luck trying this predictor on NHL players.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on CDC guidelines now saying people can be outside without a mask if they’re not in a crowd: “So Marlins fans should be fine.”
• Giants pitcher Anthony DeSclafani, to reporters, after throwing a three-hit shutout against the Rockies: “Just gonna note, I had a bird poop on me earlier this week and I was like, ‘You know what, it’s gotta be good luck.’ ”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on why TV ratings for the Academy Awards fell 58%: “A list of movie nominees that were more depressing than a New York Jets film session.”