Joe Buck? Just call him Iron Mic.
The jet-lagged Fox broadcaster worked a Gehrig-esque seven nationally televised games in seven days — Games 1-4 of the World Series and three NFL contests — in four different cities last week.
Q: How could you tell whether you were watching the NFL game or the presidential debate on TV Thursday night?
A: The Giants and Eagles stopped at the two-minute warning.
Just call him Slash
As if Green Bay losing 38-10 to the Bucs last Sunday wasn’t bad enough, Jamaal Williams’ pants tore open during the game, exposing his right buttock.
So how do they list him on the Packers’ roster now — running back or split end?
She knows the drill
Former ski champ Lindsay Vonn got her upper front teeth grinded down and new veneers added.
Hey, if having some major dental work done doesn’t melt the heart of her hockey-playing fiance, P.K. Subban, what will?
Dress for success
The foundation of Panthers D-lineman Derrick Brown funded $50,000 so that kids in Charlotte could have Halloween costumes and accessories.
And, it goes without saying, sacks.
Wake up the USFL
The WNBA-champion Seattle Storm, in an unusual move for a pro sports team, announced it is endorsing Joe Biden for president.
Awaiting the counter-endorsement from the New Jersey Generals in 3 … 2 … 1 …
Just have to ask
Which timeout is the more needless time waste — the NFL’s two-minute warning or MLB scheduling a “travel day” (or two) during a single-site World Series?
A NASA spacecraft landed on an asteroid 200 million miles from earth last week and started collecting samples.
So far, it’s only been rocks … dirt … a Babe Ruth home-run ball …
Let’s play for two
NFL teams — with 58 two-point tries through the first six weeks — are on a record pace for such attempts in the 27-year history of the bonus conversion.
Somewhere, Ernie Banks is smiling.
That would be so 2020
COVID-19 was listed among those “also receiving votes” in the latest AP football poll.
Or did we just wake up from a bad dream?
More whine, please
Cowboys fans are the NFL’s biggest complainers, according to a survey of 5,000 fans nationwide by mibets.com.
“Hosed again!” moaned Patriots fans after being rated only second-most obnoxious.
[NFC West whiny-fan standings: Cardinals eighth, 49ers 17th, Seahawks 21st, Rams 28th.]
The Japan Swimming Federation has stripped Daiya Seto, the reigning world champion in two individual-medley events, of his team captaincy for the Tokyo Olympics after he was caught cheating on his wife.
In other words, he got DQ’d for not staying in his own lane.
Mother of all bets
Makenna Myler of Orange County, California, won a $100 wager with her husband Mike by running a mile in less than 8 minutes — in 5:25, actually — when she was nine months’ pregnant.
Not to mention coining a new phrase: She’s betting for two now.
Talking the talk
• First-year Giants coach Joe Judge, to the New York Post, anticipating the reception he’d get from Eagles fans in his native Philadelphia: “I’ll probably wear a helmet, because my in-laws are already buying batteries.”
• Headline at TheOnion.com: “Sam Darnold pissed he forgot to bench self on fantasy team.”
• Atlanta Falcons Twitter account, after the Cardinals went up 28-3 on the Cowboys in the third quarter last Monday: “No need to @ us. We already know.”
Here’s the beef
The Dodgers’ Mookie Betts won everyone in America a free Taco Bell taco by stealing a base in Game 1 of the World Series on Tuesday night.
Who knew the Dodgers’ leadoff guy was the meat of the order?
• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on Nebraska — vocal critics of the Big Ten shutting down its football season in August — now opening on the road under the revamped schedule as 26-point underdogs at Ohio State: “This is almost like a modern version of the old TV show from the 1950s, ‘You Asked For It.’ ”
• Rams star DT Aaron Donald, to Sports Illustrated, with some advice for Tua Tagovailoa when the Dolphins’ rookie QB makes his first NFL start vs. L.A. on Nov. 1: “Hold the ball, don’t do too much running and take them sacks.”
• Ryan Brown of WJOX Radio in Birmingham, Alabama, via Twitter, on Dodger Cody Bellinger’s 400-foot, NLCS-winning home run: “That one had to file a flight plan.”
• Cardinals RB Kenyan Drake, to reporters, on what his mother said to him before he busted out of a slump with a 164-yard, 2-TD performance against the Cowboys: “I’m your mom and everything, but are you going to hit some holes today?”
Not just darting in
And you thought the NBA was strict with its bubble rules?
Referee Roger Spencer was required to quarantine for 14 days before he could officiate England’s Herm Open darts tournament.
Quote, end quote
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on COVID-19 forcing preseason college-basketball tournaments in Maui and The Bahamas to be relocated in Asheville, North Carolina, and Sioux Falls, South Dakota: “Teams can leave the sunscreen at home, in other words.”
• Mike Hart of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, predicting the outcome when the Eagles (1-4-1) and Giants (1-5) met on Thursday: “Eagles 20, Giants 10, Interest 0.”
• Blogger Chad Picasner, on the Yankees’ dilemma of what to do with good-bat/bad-glove shortstop Gleyber Torres: “Torres is no major-league shortstop. (But) if you saw him play in 2019, you know he wasn’t much of a second baseman, either.”
• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, after it took 3:40 to play Game 2 of the World Series: “Hard to believe young people raised on video games aren’t flocking to the sport.”