What some people won’t do to avoid paying the ferry fare.

Chloe McCardel swam the English Channel for the 44th time last week, breaking the record women (43) after she’d long ago done the same for the men’s mark (34).

“I’m buzzing right now,” the 36-year-old Australian told the Guardian newspaper. “I feel like I could go again and swim the channel again tomorrow, although that’s not a very good idea.”

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Nets front office wishes Kyrie Irving would stop acting like Kyrie Irving.”

• At Fark.com: “Australian cricket player suffers 10th concussion, says he’s ready to try out for the NHL.”

Ice-cold cash

The Toronto Maple Leafs, worth $2 billion according to data compiled by Sportico, are the NHL’s most valuable team.

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In other words, the Leafs are raking it in.

Shades of Kirk Gibson

A small part of me still believes that Seahawks QB Russell Wilson — who has started all 165 games since he was drafted in 2012 — will say “It’s only a flesh wound” and trot onto the field in Pittsburgh on Sunday night with his surgically repaired finger miraculously healed.

Well done

And then there’s the hard-core baseball fan who uses a Yankees-Red Sox replay to time the cooking of his Thanksgiving turkey.

Give me a C …

The Scripps National Spelling Bee is ending its 28-year run on ESPN and will now appear on a pair of Scripps-owned networks.

Fox didn’t land it, despite the obvious lure of having Terry Bradshaw trying to spell cat on the pregame show.

Bring your helmet

Browns sack-master Myles Garrett has decorated his front yard for Halloween with tombstones featuring the name and jersey number of opposing quarterbacks.

What’s he handing out this year, Nestle Crunch?

Run it up much?

Jon Gruden fired for outrageous emails?

Well, that’s one way to get Urban Meyer out of the headlines.

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Gag order

Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow was on “voice rest” following a throat injury against the Packers but isn’t expected to miss any playing time.

“Can we get one of those for Dick Vitale?” piped up more than one basketball fan.

The return game

The times we live in: The Mississippi state auditor has ordered ex-QB Brett Favre — who was paid $141 million over his 20-year NFL career — to return $828,000 in welfare money he was paid for speeches he never gave.

The word for that is … speechless.

Talking the talk

• Comedian Argus Hamilton: “When I die, please scatter my ashes over the Cotton Bowl, so that whenever Texas beats Oklahoma, it’s over my dead body.”

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, with a sure sign your favorite NFL team is having a bad season: “The gift shop’s bags come with eyeholes.”

Hat trick times five

Kevin Hubbell of Michigan’s Benzie Central High School scored a national-record 16 goals in a 17-0 soccer win over Kingsley.

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He could have scored more, but the game was called at halftime.

Quote marks

• Nick Canepa of The San Diego Union-Tribune, on UNLV basketball players getting $500 a month from a car dealer under a NIL deal: “Tark wouldn’t like the cut in pay.”

• Blogger Chad Picasner, on why baseball doesn’t televise playoff games at the same time: “You’d miss out on a bunch of ads for Metamucil or Kraft salad dressing. I make my own salad dressing, but I could use the Metamucil.”

• Raiders QB Derek Carr, to reporters, after the departure of coach Jon Gruden: “Open up everything. If we just started opening up everybody’s private emails and texts, people would start sweating a little bit. … Hopefully not too many.”

• Rays manager Kevin Cash, to reporters, on whether he’s gotten any playoff well-wishes from Tom Brady: “No. But if I do, I’m going to ask if I can go on his boat.”

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, no fan of bye weeks in the NFL: “The worst idea since sliced bread, sliced the long way.”

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You shouldn’t have

Unregistered Piotr Czarnecka ran beside his wife Monika in the London Marathon and he probably would have gotten away with it — except photographers snapped pictures of him wearing the same registration number as hers.

No word on whether organizers will make her forfeit her 21,697th-place finish.

Quote, end quote

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Bengals kicker Evan McPherson celebrating a missed field goal in overtime against the Packers, thinking he’d made it: “Wanna get away? (Except his Southwest flight might have been canceled.)

• Charles Barkley, on TNT, on Wayne Gretzky not known for his defense: “He’s the Charles Barkley of hockey.”

• Ravens defensive coordinator Don “Wink” Martindale, to reporters, on the arm strength of Chargers QB Justin Herbert: “He’s one of those guys who can throw a strawberry through a battleship.”

• Tim Hunter of Everett’s KRKO Radio, on the Mariners buying Pyramid Brewery across the street from their ballpark: “If you’re a longtime Mariners fan, you’ll understand why.”