So who ratted them out? An opposing line coach? Some largemouth?
Auburn University’s bass-fishing team — originally suspended for the rest of the year for repeatedly violating school COVID-19 travel policies — has been reinstated upon appeal and can resume angling on April 22.
Great — just in time for preseason two-a-days.
• At TheOnion.com: “Nelson Agholor signs 2-year, 23-drop contract with Patriots.”
• At Fark.com: “NFL owners approve increased profits for NFL owners.”
NFL Hall of Famer Michael Strahan admitted it was just an April Fool’s Day joke — that no, he didn’t get dental work done to close that signature space between his two front teeth.
Or, as he prefers to call it, the A-gap.
Not throwing heat
Catcher’s signals for opening day in wintry Detroit: one’s a fastball, two’s a curve, three’s a snowball …
Stopped for no gain
That container ship that clogged up Suez Canal traffic for six days?
They’ve just re-christened it the MV Aaron Donald.
Going, going …
With more than 1,000 D-I basketball players in the NCAA transfer portal, it certainly puts a whole new spin on “fast break.”
Dog days of winter
Top dogs gathered in Tulsa to jump, weave and sprint in the AKC National Agility Championship for ESPN cameras.
In other words, just like football players’ Pro Day on campus.
Pass the popcorn
Working title for a documentary about MLB managers’ worst umpiring nightmare: “Angel’s In The Infield.”
Missing the mark
For the first time in NCAA men’s basketball history, no teams east of the Mississippi River made the Final Four.
For those of you counting slowly at home, that’s None-Mississippi.
Tweet of the Week
“Oral Roberts has more wins over Ohio State than Jim Harbaugh.” — NFL pundit Ross Tucker
The missing costume for Looie the Lookout, the Chattanooga Lookouts’ mascot, was found less than 24 hours after it was pilfered from the minor-league baseball team’s offices.
Or, as team publicists tried to spin it, Looie’s safe at home.
Talking the talk
• Dan Daly of ProFootballDaly.com, on President Biden announcing he wouldn’t throw out the season’s first pitch for the Nationals: “Translation: He’s been working on a new pitch, and it doesn’t have the proper spin rate yet.”
• Jeff Gordon of STLtoday.com, after Indiana — which has fallen on hard times since it last Final Four in 1992 — hired ex-Hoosiers star Mike Woodson, 63, as men’s basketball coach: “The first big challenge for this regime: invent time travel.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Minnesota Duluth needed a record five overtimes to beat North Dakota in the NCAA hockey tournament: ”And the Boston Red Sox and NY Yankees are thinking, ‘Amateurs!’ ”
Who better to get tagged with a blown save and a loss on opening day — courtesy of two unearned runs, no less — than White Sox reliever Aaron Bummer?
Quote, end quote
• Just-retired North Carolina basketball coach Roy Williams, to CBSsports.com, on why he was still aggressively hitting the recruiting trail as he neared age 70: “I know I can win with great players. What I don’t know is whether I could win with anything other than great players. And I don’t ever want to find out.”
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, after Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan announced that sports venues will be allowed to allow fans at 50% capacity: “Judging from the Baltimore Orioles’ 2019 attendance figures, this is about 30% more than what’s needed at Camden Yards.”
• Blogger Chad Picasner, on shortstop Francisco Lindor’s contract negotiations: “Lindor wanted $32 million a year (for 12 years) from the Mets, but owner Steve Cohen said no way, you’ll take $34 million a year (for 10) and like it. I’m glad he’s not doing my taxes.”
• Danny Vietti of CBSsports.com, via Twitter: “Yes, when Francisco Lindor’s contract expires in 2032, the Mets will still be paying Bobby Bonilla.”
• Nick Canepa of The San Diego Union-Tribune, with an NCAA tournament update: “Spotted last weekend: the first three-second violation since the last one was called — on George Mikan.”
Five men out
Five Nationals players were placed in COVID-19 quarantine before the team canceled its season opener, but the team initially refused to identify them.
The old hidden ballplayer trick, eh?
• Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle, to ESPN.com, on the Pelicans’ 6-7, 284-pound Zion Williamson: “You’ve got to have a lot of courage to stand in there and get run over by that guy, because he’s coming at you fast. … Like, it’s not just an Amtrak. It’s an Acela. It’s the fast one that doesn’t stop. It doesn’t stop in Westport or wherever. It just goes — phew! — straight to New York City. It’s something else.”
• Ex-Raiders receiver Tim Brown, to the Chico (Calif.) Enterprise-Record, after his hole-in-one on Sawgrass’ famous island hole: “People have been reaching out to me saying, ‘Tim, I’m not trying to pooh-pooh on your Heisman Trophy and the Hall of Fame, but this is your biggest sports accomplishment ever.”
• UCLA men’s basketball coach Mick Cronin, to reporters, after his 11th-seeded team’s ugly 51-49 victory over top-seeded Michigan in the East Regional title game: “Stats are for losers … You can crumble up that stat sheet tonight.”
• Tim Hunter of Everett’s KRKO Radio, on the CDC declaring that fully vaccinated people can now travel: “Especially if they’re fully vaccinated and play in the NBA.”