So what was the catch of the day, marinated catfish?
Thousands of gallons of cabernet-sauvignon wine from the Rodney Strong winery — enough to fill 500,000 bottles — spilled into the Russian River last month in Sonoma County, Calif.
• At TheOnion.com: “Pro Bowl players not in game asked to sit in stands to make stadium look less empty.”
• At Fark.com: “Trubisky has surgery on non-throwing arm. That still doesn’t tell us which arm.”
Heard in passing
A man and woman pleaded guilty to passing counterfeit $100 bills in the Bay Area.
And they might have gotten away with it too, investigators said, if they hadn’t pushed their luck and put Joe Montana’s likeness on them.
Talk about a costly three-and-out.
Notre Dame ripped up Landen Bartleson’s letter of intent after the cornerback recruit was charged with burglary, criminal mischief and receiving stolen property.
Sounds like a winner
The No. 1 fan experience at MLB fanfests this year was:
a) Padres: buying surplus promotional items at the “garage sale”
b) Rockies: touring the clubhouse
c) Astros: banging the home-dugout trash can
Tweet of the Week
“BREAKING: Harry and Meghan have reached out to the Winnipeg Jets and Vancouver Canucks for advice on living in Canada without a title.” — @Jonathan_Dunphy
Hang TDs, not 10
RB Raheem Mostert, who grew up on the waves in New Smyrna Beach, Fla., is prohibited from surfing in his 49ers contract.
In other words, limit your curl routes to the football field.
Ageless swiss tennis star Roger Federer won his Australian Open quarterfinal match, but not until after he’d staved off seven match points.
Channeling our inner Yogi Berra: With Federer it ain’t overer until it’s overer.
When it comes to baseball lexicon, the Astros’ trash-can antics certainly give “bang-bang play” a whole new meaning.
Hold your noses
Hoarders panicking over the coronavirus outbreak are exhausting the public supply of face masks.
Sort of like Knicks fans and clothes pins.
Talking the talk
• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on the latest Warriors injury news: “Does anyone know what it means that Kevon Looney has a ‘neuropathic condition’? Sounds ominous. Can’t they dumb it down for us, like, ‘nerve thingies’?”
• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on NFL security using facial-recognition technology to keep criminals out of Super Bowl LIV: “We’ll be lucky if they can field two teams.”
Time to reboot
Rumor has it that high-tech tinkerers in Baltimore — in an effort to combat MLB’s foray into robot umpires — are already hard at work creating a robo Earl Weaver.
Only problem is, it won’t stop short-circuiting.
• Bob Molinaro, in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, after the Blazers’ Damian Lillard became just the sixth player with multiple 60-point games in NBA history: “But I imagine Wilt Chamberlain looking down … and smiling. Wilt leads all players with 32 games of 60 or more.”
• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Derek Jeter’s near-unanimous election to the Baseball Hall of Fame: “Jeter is best known of course as the Miami Marlins president, although reportedly also played several years with the Yankees.”
• Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, on why 70-year-old manager Dusty Baker appealed to the Astros: “At his age he is too old to know how to work any electronic equipment newer than a VCR.”