Here’s one guy who can win for love or money: Roger Federer.

The tennis star’s likeness will be minted on a Swiss 20-franc silver coin.

Headlines

• At @NOTSportsCenter: “Breaking: Ohio State and Oklahoma have agreed to play a 3rd-place game and Ohio State is already up 28-0.”

• At Fark.com, after Andrade asked fellow WWE rassler Charlotte Flair to marry him: “She said WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Pass the tire pump

Thanks to Bill Belichick’s Naval Academy ties, the Midshipmen football team got to fly to Memphis for the Liberty Bowl in the Patriots’ team jet.

But the Middies reportedly did check, just to be safe — and no, the tires weren’t underinflated.

Help wanted

Cleveland ranked 173rd among 182 qualifying cities as the toughest place to find a job, according to a WalletHub study.

Then again, it was 182nd before the Browns started cleaning house.

Paging Brad Pitt

Here’s one NFL film destined to get bad reviews: “Al Riveron Runs Through It.”

That’s a 9-game homestand

Disneyland temporarily closed its gates to visitors on Dec. 27, announcing that the theme park had reached its peak capacity of 80,000 or so.

“Peak capacity — what’s that?” asked the Miami Marlins.

Bowling for answers

After getting throttled 38-10 by Texas, will Utah’s offseason theme be “Forget the Alamo”?

Can’t eat at Joe’s

Maddon’s Post — the Wrigleyville restaurant co-owned by Joe Maddon — closed after just seven months in business and just three months after Maddon was fired as Cubs manager.

Repeat customers figured something was amiss when the bar ran out of relief pitchers.

Talking the talk

• Tottenham coach Jose Mourinho, to reporters, after getting booked by referee Mike Dean during a 1-0 loss to Southampton: “I clearly deserved the yellow card, as I was rude. But I was rude to an idiot.”

• Duffer Dale Cohen, 62, to the hometown Findlay (Ohio) Courier, after making two holes-in-one in the same round — a 67 million-to-1 feat: “I hit the lottery but didn’t get paid.”

Cue up the fight song

The injury-riddled Eagles signed RB Elijah Holyfield — son of former heavyweight champ Evander Holyfield — as roster insurance.

Oddsmakers immediately upgraded Philly’s Super Bowl chances from extreme longshot to a puncher’s chance.

Quote, end quote

• Jets RB Le’Veon Bell, to reporters, grousing about all the league-mandated drug tests and bloodwork he’s had to take: “It feels like they’re trying to clone me or something.”

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on the Seahawks failing to deliver a last-minute TD from the 1-yard-line in a big game once again: “We may have to call Pete Carroll Repeat Carroll.”

• Useful household hint making the rounds on the internet: “Remember, every time the Browns fire a coach, you should change the air filter in your furnace.”

• Ex-USC QB Carson Palmer, to the L.A. Times, on the condition of his 2002 Heisman Trophy: “The base of it is beat up. It looks like it’s played in a game, like the Bengals’ offensive line has pass-protected for it.”

• Red Wings center Dylan Larkin, to the Detroit Free Press, on possibly being fan-voted as one of the “Last Men In” to play in the NHL All-Star Game: “Please don’t vote. I like the days off more.”

Sun Block Dept.

The Houston Texans played their wild-card game on a Saturday for the sixth straight time.

In lieu of watching Patriots game films, the Texans’ video room lightened the mood with “Never on Sunday.”

Quote marks

• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on Jimmy Haslam about to hire his seventh head coach and sixth GM since purchasing the Browns in October 2012: “If Haslam planted a vegetable garden, I would not be surprised to learn that his harvest was meager because every other day he would pull the plants out of the ground to see how the roots were developing.”

Fark.com, after diva receiver Antonio Brown said his workout with the Saints was “a publicity stunt”: “Yes, we know that … Wait, you meant by them?”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Washington owner Dan Snyder introduced new coach Ron Rivera as “someone that can bring a winning culture to our organization”: “A winning culture? In Washington under Snyder? Is Rivera showing up with blue-ribbon yogurt?”

• Dan Daly of @dandalyonsports, on owner Dan Snyder’s sales pitch to prospective coaches: “Come to (Washington). Make a lot of money. Wish you were never born.”