Apparently this guy missed the memo on what “shirts and skins” means.
Jordon Anderson, 29, was arrested for indecent exposure — as in shooting baskets totally naked — at Candy Land Park in Longwood, Fla.
According to the police report, Anderson told officers he was “working on his basketball skills” and “feels playing naked enhances his skill level.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Kyrie Irving promises Celtics he won’t quit on whatever team he signs with this offseason.”
• At Fark.com: “Michigan’s John Beilein has agreed to become the future ex-coach of the Cavs.”
Getting into the flow
TV cameras captured Sixers center Joel Embiid sobbing inconsolably after his team’s buzzer-beating Game 7 loss to the Raptors.
Tears were streaming out of both i’s, in fact.
Just had to ask
• If baseball really wants to speed things up, why doesn’t MLB put its players on a scratch, spit and cup-adjustment count?
• Why aren’t golf-course flags at half-staff in honor of Dorf’s passing?
Ex-pitcher-turned-accountant Benjamin Hendrickson, 38, has pleaded guilty to swindling $145,000 by cooking the books in two business transactions.
Remember when ballplayers were simply content with just stealing second base?
Caught stealing (cont’d)
Hendrickson went 1-10 with a 7.41 ERA in his two MLB seasons, 2004 and 2006.
(Readers: Insert your own “stealing from the Brewers” punchline here.)
Just call him Pederson
The NFL has suspended All-Pro Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson for six games after he tested positive for PED use.
Team officials suspected something was amiss when Peterson abruptly requested a move to strong safety.
Relocating his pitches
Toronto pitcher Edwin Jackson made history by playing for his14th major-league team.
Which certainly puts a whole new spin on “moving fastball.”
Golfer Tyler Duncan bounced an errant shot off his wife’s head during the AT&T Byron Nelson tournament in Dallas.
Things went from bad to worse when he addressed her birthday card to “My Movable Obstruction.”
Watch your collarbone
Packers QB Aaron Rodgers has a cameo appearance on “Game of Thrones.”
Alas, his character is only expected to live until the episode in which Anthony Barr guest-stars.
Maria Sharapova, citing a shoulder injury, has withdrawn from the French Open.
There goes the earplugs concession!
Talking the talk
• Blazers guard CJ McCollum, to reporters, on his team’s defensive strategy for Game 2 after the Warriors’ Steph Curry torched them for nine three-pointers in Game 1: “Anything but what we did tonight.”
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on the newly opened Mascot Hall of Fame: “Essentially it’s a bunch of clowns in costume who aren’t the New York Knicks.”
Former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke — who died at 89 last week — once set a Guinness world record as a college student at Oxford by downing 2½ pints of beer in 11 seconds.
Thus coining the phrase “Take me to your liter.”
A Washington Nationals fan trying to catch a home-run ball had it bounce off the top of his noggin.
That’s what he gets for wearing his lucky Jose Canseco jersey.
Bobby Knight lives!
Australia’s Nick Kyrgios threw a chair on the court and got himself tossed from the Italian Open.
The move was immediately panned by the ATP and ITF but heartily endorsed by WWE.
Reporter, to the Warriors’ Jordan Bell: “As a young player, what have you learned from Kevon Looney?”
Bell: “I’m older than Kevon Looney.”
Tweet of the Week
From Gus Ramsey: “If you wet Swiffer in front of your Roomba, it’s basically curling.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Seahawks QB Russell Wilson — fresh off signing an NFL-record contract at $35 million per — buying his mom a house for Mother’s Day: “We know it’s not in San Francisco. He’d have needed a bigger contract.”
• Venerable CBS broadcaster Verne Lundquist, to AwfulAnnouncing.com, on his health going into the PGA Championship: “As healthy as a 78-year-old man with two new knees, a new shoulder and a new back can be.”
• Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, on the downside of the Raptors playing the Bucks in the NBA Eastern Conference finals: “I’m going to have to learn how to spell Antetokounmpo on deadline.”
• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on the continuing foibles by the franchise Joe Namath once made famous: “Memo to N.Y. Jets ownership: JETS is an anagram for JEST.”
• Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, on a study showing that walking faster helps people live longer: “Especially for people trying to make their way on foot through New Orleans, Detroit and Chicago.”