The scourge of doping has even found its way into beauty competitions for camels.
Is no competition safe from the scourge of doping these days?
A dozen contestants — because of Botox injections to their lips and faces to enhance their looks — were disqualified from a Saudi Arabian beauty contest.
Bad bar bet
Eagles tackle Lane Johnson last summer promised to buy every eligible Philadelphian a beer if his team won Super Bowl LII.
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Considering Philly boasts a population of 1.5 million-plus, is it too late to amend that offer to Johnson’s hometown of Groveton, Texas?
Bankrupt former champion Boris Becker, 50, says he’d like to sell off his tennis trophies but can’t remember where he left them.
Maybe he’s hoping to write them off on this year’s taxes as a net loss.
He spells trouble
Among Oregon’s football recruits this year: Habakkuk Baldonado, a defensive end from Clearwater, Fla.
Talk about mixed reviews: He’s rated a three-star recruit by 247 Sports but only one star by the National Association of Copy Editors.
In keeping with the annual February tradition, six more weeks of winter are guaranteed when:
a) Punxsutawney Phil emerges from his burrow and sees his shadow
b) Tom Brady is back playing in the Super Bowl
That’s your bald game
A high-school basketball player in Hopkins County, Ky., hit a referee on the back of the head with an errant pass, knocking off his toupee.
The joy of six
The NCAA granted Washington State linebacker Peyton Pelluer, injured in the Cougars’ third game last season, a sixth year of eligibility.
In other words, he’s just one year away from the Bluto Blutarsky Award watch list.
That’s your bowl game
Ranked No. 1 in collegiate bowling is:
a) Nebraska, with 10 national titles in 20 seasons
b) Utah football coach Kyle Whittingham, 11-1 in postseason games
Keeping it unreal
The Florida Legislature is considering a “UCF national champions” license plate in honor of Central Florida’s 13-0 football team.
So what’s next — a White House invite from President Bernie Sanders?
The NBA says it wants to be a partner in legalizing sports gambling — for a 1% cut on every NBA bet made.
They’re calling it the Tim Donaghy clause.
Swear it’s true
A study says swearing makes people happier, healthier, more intelligent and honest.
Don’t know about healthy, happy or honest, but Hubie Brown must have an IQ of 150.
Talking the talk
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Wall Street Journal claims that the Ohio State, Oklahoma and Texas football programs are worth more than $1 billion each: “It’s still a violation if a coach gives a player his prize from a Cracker Jack box, right?”
• Ben Finfer, via Twitter, on the plus side of last weekend’s government shutdown: “I’m going to use the pictures, descriptions or accounts of Sunday’s championship games without the NFL’s consent, and no one can stop me.”
Grease is the word
Philadelphia, seeking to keep out-of-control celebrants from climbing downtown streetlights after last Sunday’s NFC Championship, dispatched city workers to grease the poles with Crisco beforehand.
Well, that’s one way of shortening the postgame celebration.
• At TheOnion.com: “87% of Eagles’ home crowd listening to NFC Championship on car radio after getting thrown out of stadium.”
• At TheKicker.com: “Generous? Patriots offer to spot Eagles 25 points.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Vince Young expected to get $100 million free-agent deal: ‘We now know he’ll be great away from Jeff Fisher.’ ”
• At Fark.com: “ESPN hopes A-Rod can juice up ‘Sunday Night Baseball’ this year.”
Step aside, Dan Marino.
Coming soon to a TV near you: Tom Brady pitching red Isotoner gloves.
Give Eagles wideout Alshon Jeffery his props for declaring on Jan. 1, 2017: “I guarantee you we’ll win the Super Bowl next year.”
But a point-two deduction for the fact he was a Chicago Bear at the time.
“I never said a team, though,” he told ESPN in November.
Bettor or Worse Dept.
The Cavaliers started 11-33-1 against the Vegas point spread this season, which, if it holds, would rank dead last among all 816 NBA teams since 1990-91, according to ESPN.
Wyoming QB Josh Allen told Cleveland’s WKRK-FM Radio that “I want to be the guy that turns around the Cleveland Browns.”
Might be time to start setting up a little blue tent on the draft-combine sideline.
Scientists have named a newly discovered species of wasp in south Florida — the Diolcogaster ichiroi — after MLB hit machine Ichiro Suzuki.
Coincidence? Insiders say Ichiro has been stinging the ball in offseason BP.
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the Winter Olympics less than two weeks away: “It’s about time I drafted my curling fantasy-league team.”
• Tony Alan Banks, via Facebook, on all the recent vexing over sports officiating: “The Washington Generals never complained.”
• Robert Owens, 66, to the Chicago Tribune, on his race strategy for the upcoming World Marathon Challenge — consistening of a 26.2-mile race per day for seven straight days on seven continents: “You just get off the plane and you start running.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on three light beers — Bud Light, Coors Light and Miller Lite — now ranking as the three most popular in the U.S.: “Only things getting less light are Americans.”
• Comedy writer Tim Hunter, on a new survey claiming that more kids now want to be policemen than athletes: “That way, when they grow up, they can arrest all those kids that wanted to be athletes.”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on TV weathermen in the South having the usual task of providing snow-driving tips for novices: “Basically they suggest all drivers drive like they’re in a white Bronco taking O.J. to jail.”