Tony Harding-Nancy Kerrigan Rock Opera will debut in New York next month.
No need to say “Break a leg!” to these thespians.
“Tonya & Nancy: The Rock Opera” — based on the Harding-Kerrigan figure-skating knee whack in 1994 — makes its Big Apple debut at the New York Musical Theatre Festival in July.
• In the New York Daily News, on A-Rod’s milestone hit: “Mr. 3,***”
• At TheOnion.com: “Bubba Watson horrified to learn two-thirds of Earth covered in water hazards.”
Hanging Chads Dept.
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Major League Baseball has canceled out 65 million All-Star Game votes because of improprieties.
“Where were you guys when I could have used you 15 years ago?” asked Al Gore.
He’s not kidding
NBC news anchor Brian Williams — suspended six months for lying on the air — is poised to return on MSNBC.
He cleared the final hurdle last week when he was finally able to say “first-place Houston Astros” while keeping a straight face.
NFL Econ 101
The Patriots are scheduled to pay QB Tom Brady $7 million for the 2015 season — or $5.25 million, adjusting for deflation.
And the latest drug scandal in sports involves … Russian racewalkers?
“It’s a bad sign if you can’t distinguish between a sport and a group of people rushing to the bathroom,” said CBS’s James Corden. “Doping for racewalking is like robbing a bank that you know has only $2 in it.”
Walk on the wild side
Walking improves creativity, a Stanford study revealed.
If so, then Bryce Harper must be the most imaginative player in baseball.
So what if he’s hitting .647 with five homers and 15 RBI in just nine games against Cleveland this season?
Or, as reader David S. put it to The Plain Dealer: “Did Albert Einstein get his definition of insanity by watching the Indians pitch to Miguel Cabrera?”
• Dodgers pitcher Brandon McCarthy, via Twitter, on allegations that the Cardinals hacked the Astros’ player database: “In keeping with baseball tradition, a Houston exec should walk into the STL offices and hit their best front office guy with a fastball.”
• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after a headline in The Korea Times declared that that the Chicago Bears won the NHL title: “Can’t wait to see The Stanley Cup Shuffle.”
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on All-Star voting run amok: “Six members of the Kansas City Royals are now leading the U.S. presidential race.”
• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on negotiating the U.S. Open at Chambers Bay: “There are more traps than an AT&T contract.”
Just for laughs
Boston’s Emerson College will offer a major in comedy, beginning in 2016. Just between the foibles of FIFA and the NFL, no problem coming up with punch lines.