The U.S. women have stormed into the gold-medal game with six straight blowout wins.

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They scheduled an Olympic basketball tournament — and a North Korean election broke out.

The U.S. women have stormed into the gold-medal game with seven straight blowout wins. Average score: 102-64.

“For other teams, competing with the U.S. is a little like jumping into a swimming pool and facing five clones of Katie Ledecky,” wrote Mimi Kimes of, “or battling an army of Simone Biles-bots on the gymnastics mat.”


• At “Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt agree to 100-meter exhibition race in muddy swamp.”

• At “Kerri Walsh Jennings loss wreaks havoc on office volleyball brackets.”


Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is on his third campaign manager in three months.

Somewhere, George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin just can’t stop smiling.

Olympic quiz

German cyclist Kristina Vogel shockingly lost her seat:

a) while pedaling to a gold medal in the women’s sprint.

b) betting on the U.S. women’s soccer team.

This just in

“In Olympic news,” wrote Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, “there’s a new type of individual medley where Ryan Lochte changes his story every 100 meters.”

Olympic quiz II

Kyrgyzstan weightlifter Izzat Artykov lost the bronze medal he won in Rio when he:

a) tested positive for strychnine.

b) and some U.S. swimmers got robbed at a gas station.

Quote marks

• Cubs manager Joe Maddon, to reporters, on what he was thinking when first baseman Anthony Rizzo made an acrobatic catch of a foul pop-up: “Just that he would stick the landing. I was hoping for at least a 9.5 from the Luxembourg judge.”

• Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, after the Olympic opening ceremony in Rio credited Brazil with launching the first airplane flight: “Moments later, Al Gore called a press conference to take credit for inventing the samba.”

• Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on D.C. police chief Cathy Lanier becoming the NFL’s head of security: “Bad news for Tom Brady: Her first official move was to buy a new air-pressure gauge.”

Marketing 101

Ryan Lochte, spokesman for Burger King?

Hey, don’t laugh. They’d probably sell a lot of Whoppers.