Commissioner Adam Silver says he’s considering tape-delayed telecasts when NBA games resume so that any inappropriate words — bound to be picked up by courtside microphones now that there will be no crowd noise from the stands to muffle them — can be dubbed out.
Or, he could just go with the flow, have game cards printed up and let the folks watching at home play Curse Word Bingo.
Just say neigh
The University of Massachusetts Dartmouth cut women’s equestrian and seven other varsity programs in a cost-cutting move.
Six horses immediately jumped into the transfer portal.
Show of hands
Sunday’s NASCAR race at Indianapolis Motor Speedway: the Big Machine Hand Sanitizer 400.
Gentlemen, start your squirt bottles!
Those were the days
The Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., shuttered by COVID-19, reopened June 26.
There wasn’t a dry eye in sight at the new exhibit — a tribute to spitting, butt-slapping and other nostalgic activities wiped out by the coronavirus.
Here’s one sports cliché you might not be hearing for a while: “We just wanted to take the crowd out of the game.”
Soccer to ’em
Alaska Airlines announced it will start issuing in-flight yellow cards to passengers who:
a) refuse to wear face masks
b) flop when the beverage cart bumps into their knee
Just had to ask
So, did Bobby Bonilla — who hasn’t played since 2001 — get his usual $1.2 million payment on July 1, or did the Mets try to prorate it down to 60 games?
Mistake in the Lake
The Arizona Cardinals waived rookie receiver Jermiah Braswell after he drove a Camaro into Lake Erie and was cited for DUI.
Coincidence? The scene of the incident was Put-in-Bay, Ohio.
It’s not a good sign when your favorite college football team boasts two-deeps for offense, defense and COVID-19.
Relish the thought
Gamblers in New Jersey, Colorado and New Hampshire can now legally place bets on the July 4 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.
So what’s the over-under on post-contest Tums consumed?
Not going viral
MLB says it can’t release names of players stricken with COVID-19.
In the NHL, expect raised eyebrows every time there’s a new “upper-body injury.”
Roll the tape
Headline on an ESPN.com video: “Russell Wilson works on evading mobile dummies.”
(Readers: Insert your own punchline here.)
No, not that
The NFL is reportedly jettisoning the first and fourth weeks off this year’s schedule of preseason games.
“We’re beyond outraged,” said absolutely no one.
The write stuff
• From NFL Memes on Facebook, on QB Nick Foles getting a $24 million contract — $21 million of it guaranteed — from the Bears: “Meanwhile, the Patriots just signed Cam Newton for less than he was making at Auburn.”
• Headline at Fark.com: “Put me in, coach, I’m ready to play 2.0.”
• Jeff Sullivan, Tampa Bay Rays front-office analyst, via Twitter: “Pretty obvious by now that 2020 is tanking for a better draft pick.”
Crimson, as in red
The Washington State athletic department’s operating deficit is expected to hit $93.5 million at the end of this fiscal year and could top $100 million by 2022.
To steal a page from the Wazzu cheerleaders: Hold that line!
At least it was a clean cut
Cubs lefty José Quintana needed surgery to repair nerve damage in his pitching thumb after a dishwashing accident.
For once it didn’t pay to work the edges of the plate.
Talking the talk
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Florida requiring travelers from New York, New Jersey and Connecticut to quarantine for 14 days: “This would kind of be like the Houston Astros making a video telling the rest of baseball not to cheat.”
• Former Times sportswriter Bud Withers, via Twitter, on Juan Marichal and Warren Spahn both pitching into the 16th inning of a 1-0 duel in 1963: “Wait, who were the openers?”
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on reports the NFL plans to make fans sign a liability waiver to attend games this seasons: “On any given Sunday … you might go home with coronavirus.”
Attention Cal, Baylor
Security cameras spotted a bear on the University of Kentucky campus.
It’s even money as to who gets to it first — state wildlife officials or recruiters for the football team.
We’ll drink to that
Low to moderate alcohol consumption each day might make for better learning, reasoning and other brain skills in middle-aged adults, according to a recent study.
In other words, no tailgating NFL fans were a part of that test group.
• Player agent Gerry Johannson, to the Edmonton Journal, on the pandemic putting NHL players at a disadvantage in free agency: “It’s like musical chairs. There are 100 players and only 75 chairs.”
• Jeff Passan of ESPN.com, with a sure sign baseball is back: “We’ve got a trade — and a player to be named later!”
• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Vince Carter, retiring after 22 NBA seasons at age 43: “Surprising analysts who thought he’d retired around 2012.”