Mavericks opponents might be wise to stock up on some Kryptonite.

“Basically, I come from another planet,” Boban Marjanovic, Dallas’ 7-foot-4 Serbian center, told Bleacher Report. “Like Superman from Krypton. I don’t show my power because I want to play basketball. I will fly off when I retire.”

And who’s to doubt him? His Earthly dad stands just 5-9 and his mother 5-6.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Manchester United calls up top-rated hooligan from development league.”

• At Fark.com: “After sweeping the Marlins and Cardinals, COVID moves on to face the Reds.”

Look who’s coming

Talk about a chip shot off the old block.

Advertising

Charlie Woods, Tiger’s 11-year-old son, carded a 3-under 33 — with three birdies and no bogeys — to win a recent nine-hole U.S. Kids Golf event in Palm City, Florida, by five strokes.

Goodbye, baseballs

Cardinals reliever Roel Ramirez got chased in his MLB debut after yielding back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs against the White Sox.

In other words, a four-gone conclusion.

Face-mask penalty

Notre Dame shut down football practice for a couple days and suspended in-person classes for at least two weeks after 154 new COVID-19 cases on campus in just two days.

Updated Irish football motto: Wake up the echoes, guys, not the virus!

Check, please

Entering Friday’s play, the Astros were 6-1 against the Mariners — and 9-9 against everyone else.

So would it be asking too much for Houston players to vote Seattle a playoff share?

Advertising

Hit and miss

Twenty big-league teams — two-thirds of them, that is — have amassed more strikeouts than hits at the plate this season.

Belated 2020 MLB motto: “Get a whiff of this!”

41 for the road

Taking no chances with flying or bussing after the pandemic sidelined them for 17 days, the St. Louis Cardinals took 41 rental cars to get to a doubleheader in Chicago.

In baseball parlance, that’s what you call a long line drive.

Chicken scratch

If losing the Olympic Games to COVID-19 wasn’t bad enough, now comes word that the 26th annual World Egg-Throwing Championships in Swaton, England, have been rescheduled for June 2021.

Organizers, to their credit, went to great lengths to break it gently.

Still running it up

The Padres just became the first team in MLB history to hit a grand slam in four consecutive games.

Advertising

See what you started, Fernado Tatis?

Talking the talk

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, via Twitter, with a sartorial question: “If you wear a mask below your nose, do you wear your bra or jock around your knees?”

• Rockets coach Mike D’Antoni, to reporters, on what it’s like coaching with a mask on: “Good. The referees can’t tell what I’m saying.”

Fast getaway

Thieves drove off with Mike Harmon Racing’s pickup and 32-foot trailer — with the No. 47 car inside — after the NASCAR rig was left parked overnight in Kingsland, Ga.

Police hoped to nab the perps when they’re finally forced to pit for a splash of gas and right-side tires.

Quote, end quote

• Bill Bender of SportingNews.com, on why sidelined Michigan fans should be rooting for Tennessee this fall: “Their fight songs get stuck in your head. Their stadiums house 100,000-plus. They can’t beat their rivals, and they haven’t won a national championship since the ’90s. If these two logged on to a dating site, it would be a 100% match.”

• Blogger Chad Picasner, on oft-injured Yankee slugger Aaron Judge’s latest malady, “lower body tightness”: “I‘m not even sure what that is, but if it’s strange and different, Judge will find a way to get it.”

Sponsored

• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the folly of trying to play college sports amid a pandemic: “Schools that initially invited students back to campus are quickly discovering what they should have known. When dealing with easily transmissible viruses, dorms are cruise ships without the water.”

Five-and-out

Five on-field officials — line judge Jeff Bergman, back judges Steve Freeman and Tony Steratore, and field judges Greg Gautreaux and Joe Larrew — have opted out of the 2020 NFL season due to coronavirus concerns.

Whether they decide to come back in 2021, of course, is under further review.

Quote marks

• Jay Hart of Yahoo.com, on a possible NFL pod plan for COVID in which every other section would be left empty: “It’s basically the plan the Cincinnati Bengals have employed the last few seasons, albeit unintentionally.”

• Matt Clapp of AwfulAnnouncing.com, on all the F-bombs getting picked up on TV with no fans in the stands: “This is the new normal on MLB broadcasts. Don’t be surprised if the artificial crowd noise gets a bit louder as the season goes on.”

• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, on players’ parents trying to pressure the Big Ten to play football this fall: “It’s like a Little League baseball game broke out.”

• Tim Hunter of Everett’s KRKO Radio, after the Seahawks announced they will play their first three home games without fans in the stands: “Going to be a serious hit to the face-paint industry.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after the NHL chose to resume its interrupted season in Toronto and Edmonton rather than the virus-plagued U.S.: “Wonder if we could play American college football in Canada.”