Basketball players can leave it all on the floor, so why not a fan?

A front-row spectator at a Kings-Jazz game in Sacramento got sick and vomited onto the court in the fourth quarter, delaying the game for about 15 minutes.

Maybe he had good reason. The Kings lost for the seventh time in eight games, 123-105, dropping them to 6-11.

Headlines

• At Fark.com: “Rio de Janeiro’s Olympics chief sentenced to 30 years in prison for, well, pretty much being an Olympics chief.”

• At TheOnion.com: “World Chess Championship forced to use salt shaker after losing bishop.”

Coffin corner

Can you get a 15-yard taunting penalty if you’re dead?

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Pittsburgh fan Wayne Alexa, 76, got in one last shot at his favorite NFL team in his obituary, posted on PittsburghCremation.com: “Passed away on Sunday, Nov. 14, 2021, after a long bout with the Steelers. He was at his home with family when they went into overtime against the 0-8 Detroit Lions, and that was all he could take.”

Permission to land

Michigan beat Ohio State in football for the first time since 2011 — and just the second time since 2003.

In related news, pigs were just cleared to land at Ann Arbor Municipal Airport.

It used to be 5 yards

The Rams and NFL settled their relocation lawsuit with St. Louis — to the tune of a $790 million payout.

Who knew illegal procedure could be so costly?

Shades of Timex

Real Salt Lake — despite getting outshot 21-0 in regulation and two overtimes — somehow beat the Seattle Sounders in the MLS playoffs when the scoreless game went to penalty kicks.

Somewhere, Tex Cobb is smiling.

Giant step for a Giant

Ex-New York Giants star Michael Strahan will fly on Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket on Dec. 9.

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Makes sense. He always did play well in space.

Blame the game plan

Talk about getting a bad scouting report.

West Point cadets attempting to kidnap the Naval Academy’s mascot, a goat named Bill No. 37, ahead of the annual Army-Navy football game grabbed the wrong animal, the one-horned and retired Bill No. 34.

Kicked to the curb

Better late than never. Who says?

The 0-10-1 Detroit Lions have lost three games at the final gun — on field goals of 66, 54 and 28 yards.

Talking the talk

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after unvaccinated Cowboys WR Amari Cooper tested positive for COVID-19 and couldn’t suit up against the Raiders: “So he had Thanksgiving dinner without dressing.”

• Michigan fan Drew Horning, to the Grand Rapids Press, on the Wolverines losing 15 of the last 16 football games against Ohio State before winning Saturday: “It’s been a tough millennium so far.”

Penalties galore

The Cowboys and Raiders were penalized a combined 28 times for 276 yards in Thursday’s Thanksgiving Day game.

They should have figured something was up when Raiders owner Mark Davis got flagged for a bad haircut in pregame.

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Quote, end quote

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, via Twitter, on Tiger Woods hitting golf balls for the first time since his car accident: “Tiger hit his irons and a 4-wood. But, given his history, he stayed away from the driver.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com: “Here’s a lovely thought … the highest-ranked college football team in Ohio is going to be the Cincinnati Bearcats.”

• Cowboys LB Micah Parsons, on being called for a roughing-the-passer penalty when it appeared the Raiders’ Derek Carr fell into him: “I think we should be playing football, not tag.”

• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, after the Sounders outshot Real Salt Lake 21-0 in their MLS playoff game but shockingly fell 6-5 on penalty kicks: “Soccer took the loss.”

• Shock jock Howard Stern, on SiriusXM Radio, on Aaron Rodgers’ toe injury: “Did he go to the doctor or did he go to Joe Rogan?”

• NFL guru Dan Daly, via Twitter, after Michigan beat Ohio State, 42-27: “Has Jim Jordan asked for a recount yet?”