Butch Hobson, a former major-league player and manager, made a dramatic exit after being ejected from an independent-league game in Fargo, N.D.

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Ever hear of a manager getting credited with a caught stealing?

Chicago Dogs skipper Butch Hobson got so incensed after he was ejected from an independent-league game in Fargo, N.D., that he yanked out third base and handed it to a kid in the stands as he exited the field.

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Neil deGrasse Tyson debunks stadium’s home-run animation depicting ball launching into the stratosphere.”

• At Deadspin.com: “Rockets add Carmelo Anthony, but why?”

Speaking of Fargo …

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Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks outfielder Brennan Metzger, angry when umpire Mike Jarboe called him out on strikes and then ejected him, grabbed a dugout garbage can and placed it behind home plate, telling Jarboe “go to your home.”

Somewhere, Oscar the Grouch is smiling.

Rockin’ Robin

Aug. 4 marked the 25th anniversary of White Sox hitter Robin Ventura charging the mound and taking a pummeling after Rangers pitcher Nolan Ryan put him in a headlock and delivered a series of quick punches upside the noggin.

It’s believed to be the only bobblehead night in baseball history in which no dolls were given away.

Dollars and scents

Smithfield Foods has been ordered to pay $470 million to neighbors for the smell from a hog farm.

Don’t go getting any ideas there, Oriole fans!

Police 1, Giants 0

Antonio Callaway turned a short pass into a 54-yard TD in the Browns’ exhibition opener, just days after the rookie receiver was pulled over and cited for marijuana possession.

Just one question: If the cops can catch him, why can’t the New York Giants?

Tricky Green Dept.

The European PGA Tour shanked an electronic deposit of the $154,000 that English golfer Tommy Fleetwood won at the British Open, putting it into the bank account of Tommy Fleetwood the Orlando-area golfing pro instead.

Mulligan, please.

Next call: Orkin

Wednesday’s Yankees-White Sox game was held up to extricate a giant bug that flew into the ear of second-base umpire Bruce Dreckman.

Let’s see him try yelling “infield fly” with a straight face again.

Taking it in the teeth

Giants receiver Odell Beckham Jr. had diamonds shaped as a cross implanted onto one of his teeth, TMZ reported.

In keeping with the theme, Beckham requested they make it a two-minute drill.

Giving ’em the needle

Massachusetts, with 21 percent of residents saying they smoke marijuana, is the nation’s No. 1 state for pot use, according to a new report.

It was 15 percent until the Patriots lost in the Super Bowl.

Talking the talk

• Broncos punter Marquette King, who signed with Denver after being released by the Raiders, when asked by KKFN Radio what he enjoys in life: “I know I like more oxygen.”

• Comedy writer Tim Hunter, after a New York man vowed to swim in the Hudson River every week to prove that it’s clean: “He was 37.”

Gotta be the shoes

North Carolina suspended 13 football players for 1-4 games after they got caught selling their school-issued, special-edition Nike Jordan shoes.

Which certainly puts a whole new spin on “sole means of support.”

Loose impediment

The PGA of America’s computer servers were compromised before the PGA Championship, keeping officials from accessing files.

One of the first orders of business when they do get back in: Expand the definition for “hacker” in golf lexicon.

Tackle this

The Arizona Cardinals will be selling a 7-pound, $75 hamburger this season called the “Gridiron Burger.”

Or as Nate Newton might call it, a slider.

Quote marks

• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, via Twitter, with his predicted national order of finish based on the glowing reports coming out of Scott Frost’s first Cornhuskers football camp: “1). Nebraska. 2). Clemson. 3). Alabama. 4). Ohio State, coached by Brett McMurphy. 5). The Nebraska reserves.”

• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on sex-abuse doctor Larry Nasser seeking a new trial while he sits in prison: “The national group, People Who Feel Sorry For Larry, will be meeting Monday in that phone booth over at Fifth & Vine.”

• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on the 13 suspended North Carolina football players: “And isn’t it special that the Heels are in hot water for improperly selling shoes?”

• Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, on reports that financial trouble could put the NRA out of business: “Apparently the organization should have been more concerned about silver than lead.”

Party time

Party Dancer — a filly owned by ex-Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino, whose legacy was tainted by revelations of exotic dancers being hired by an assistant coach to woo recruits — just won Thursday’s fifth race at Del Mar Racetrack.

Bettors’ winnings, we assume, were paid out in $1 bills.

Sign of the times

Spotted on a placard held by a man wearing a red dress on a street corner in Mont Belvieu, Texas: “No money needed. I just suck at fantasy football.”

Quote, unquote

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, via Twitter, with an Oakland A’s update: “There was a fire at the Coliseum, but a convenient sewage overflow put it out!”

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on Carmelo Anthony’s short stint as an Atlanta Hawks, after he was traded there and immediately waived: “He’s just a technical fowl.”

• Bob Molinaro in the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot, trying to look on the bright side of Johnny Manziel throwing four interceptions in his CFL debut: “That did give him an opportunity to make two tackles.”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on one possible reason President Trump tweeted “I like Mike” in his attack on LeBron James: “He’s hoping to get Michael Jordan to run his Space Force.”

Minor accomplishment

Two pairs of minor-league teammates — Gio Brusa and Jalen Miller for the Class A San Jose Giants and Kevin Newman and Jacob Stallings of the AAA Indianapolis Indians — have hit for the cycle in the same game this season.

Such a two-fer has never been done in the major leagues.