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Flag football? No kidding.

NFL officials, with Weeks 16 and 17 to go, are on a pace to whistle a record 4,139 penalties this season.

The old penalty mark — 3,849 in 2011 — should fall this weekend.

NFL headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “Johnny Manziel forced to wear Cleveland Browns jersey in cruel rookie hazing incident.”

• At STLtoday.com: “Bengals deflate Johnny Football.”

Pass the paper bags

The judge in the murder trial of ex-Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez has banned trial-goers from wearing NFL apparel on the premises.

Alas, no such luck for Thursday night’s Titans-Jaguars game.

Packing on the pounds

Fuzzy Thurston, one of the pulling guards in Vince Lombardi’s famed Packer sweep who died last Sunday at age 80, grew to be 6 feet 1 and 245 pounds in his NFL days.

“He had a growth spurt in college — or maybe a weight spurt,” ex-linemate Jerry Kramer told The New York Times. “I think he found beer, or something.”

Stat of the Week

The Seahawks won three playoff games in 2014 — or three times as many as the Detroit Lions have won since 1957.

Cuba goodies

Among the top 10 things you might not know about Cuba, from CBS’s David Letterman:

• “At age 18, every Cuban must perform 4 years of service in baseball.

• “Birthplace of Jose Canseco, burial place of his severed finger.”

Just say no

“I taped Johnny Foosball’s first start,” wrote Browns fan O. Bill Stone to The Plain Dealer of the 30-0 loss to the Bengals.

“Do I really need the NFL’s expressed written consent to re-watch this game in the future?”

Watch for cars

Embattled Jim Harbaugh says he’s concentrating only on his 49ers’ next game — not his coaching future — because “I don’t want to get too far out in front of our headlights.”

Or team owner Jed York’s.

Quote marks

• Cameron Morfit of Golf.com, after Tiger Woods flubbed four chip shots in his first return round: “Watching Woods mangle all these chip shots was like watching Bobby Flay burn all the grilled-cheese sandwiches.”

• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on baseball writers receiving their 2015 Hall of Fame ballots: “Ready for your latest public flogging, Steroids Era guys?”

• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the Yankees saying Alex Rodriguez will strictly be a DH next season: “Talk about offensive power. He gives that lineup a much-needed shot in the hip.”

Game of feet

Riesa, Germany, hosted the World Tap Dance Championships this month.

Roger Goodell’s handling of the Ray Rice case came in third.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com