The 12 Days of Christmas are almost in the books.
Just in time for the 12 Months of Chatter, a dozen snippets from a memorable, sometimes-wacky year in sports for 2014:
January: Putting the sea in Seahawk
Among the most popular attractions at the Seattle Aquarium during the run-up to Super Bowl XLVIII: a hermit crab who makes his home inside a tiny Seahawks helmet, named Marshawn Pinch.
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What, no Pete Coral?
February: Round Mound of Mulligan
Charles Barkley turned 51 on Feb. 20.
Then he capped his big day by golfing his age, in just three holes.
March: Talk to their agent
Dallas Seavey won this year’s Iditarod in dramatic fashion, but analysts don’t like his chances of repeating.
Nine of his 16 starting dogs are threatening to test free agency.
April: Spellcheck, please
A Foot Locker store in Columbus, Ohio, had Aaron Craft basketball jerseys for sale with “Oiho State” stitched on the front.
Just be glad he didn’t play for Rensselaer Polytechnic.
May: Bowl is empty
The Bowling Proprietors Association of America has canceled the sport’s 2015 U.S. Open, citing lack of interest from sponsors.
Apparently no one had money to spare.
June: Good hops
A frog named Green Cough sprang 19 feet 8 inches to win this year’s Calaveras County Frog-Jumping Contest.
Which shocked most insiders, considering he went only 17-6 at last month’s Frog Combine.
July: To the penalty box
Ex-NHL enforcer Patrick Cote, 39, confessed to robbing two banks in Quebec and was sentenced to 2½ years in prison.
Or as they call it in puck circles, a 30-month major.
August: 1, 2, 3, 4 … 1, 2, 3, 4 …
The Rockies’ Michael Cuddyer became just the third player in MLB history to hit a single, double, triple and home run in a game — in both leagues.
In other words, he hit for the bicycle.
September: He’s a late scratch
Now there’s speculation that Bronco star Wes Welker’s four-game drug ban resulted from somebody spiking his drink at the Kentucky Derby.
Which certainly explains why Welker suddenly started running his pass routes with blinkers on.
October: More hits for Jeter
Just-retired Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter is already on to his next adventure — a website for athletes called ThePlayersTribune.com.
In keeping with the baseball theme, just hit the F-6 key and you get a pop-up ad.
November: Candyland
Our neighborhood’s trick-or-treat champion this year was the kid in the J.J. Watt uniform.
He came home with five sacks.
December: Speed dating
NHRA driver Courtney Force, 26, and IndyCar driver Graham Rahal, 25, who’ve been an item since last year, are engaged to be married, she tweeted from Venice, Italy.
In lieu of rice, should well-wishers just throw lug nuts?
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com