Bob Uecker lost 102 games off his virus-shortened 50th season as a Brewers broadcaster, but he hasn’t lost his sense of humor.
“I’m doing what everybody else is doing, and that’s stay locked down, shut down and wear a mask if I do need one,” the ex-catcher, 86, told MLB.com. “I went in the store a couple of weeks ago with a catcher’s mask, and they told me it was the wrong one. It helps when you get punched in the face, but that’s about it.”
Punched in the face?
“Yeah,” Uecker said. “A lot of people are still living that saw me play.”
• At Fark.com: “Fauci says he’s no roadblock to NFL season, more like a flashing sign warning ‘Bridge out ahead.’ ”
• At TheOnion.com: “Staples Center employee realizes he left shot-clock buzzer on this whole time.”
It’s not even-Steven
Steve Raible — who retired Friday as news anchor at Seattle’s KIRO-TV — caught an 80-yard TD pass in the Seahawks’ inaugural 1976 season.
The original Hawks’ “other” pass-catching Steve — future Hall of Famer Largent — never caught one longer than 74 in his 14 NFL seasons.
Next in Lion
Sheila Ford Hamp, 69, has replaced her mother, 94-year-old Martha Firestone Ford, as Detroit Lions owner and chairperson.
In other words, the Lions traded in their 1925 Ford for a 1951 model.
Green, green ice of home
Seattle’s newly branded Climate Pledge Arena will live up to its moniker, using reclaimed rainwater for its ice surface and generating zero waste from its operations and events.
So how will they spin the upcoming NHL expansion draft — recycling hockey players?
Three swings at this bizarre year in baseball:
• “In 1920 Major League Baseball outlawed the spitball. One hundred years later, MLB is outlawing spit.” — Mike Curto, Tacoma Rainiers broadcaster
• “So this year there will be two spring trainings, and neither will be in the spring.” — Jeff Fletcher, Orange County Register
• “Remember the old adage: Every team’s gonna win 20 and lose 20; it’s the other 20 that makes the difference.” — Anthony Castrovince, MLB.com
In the wrong bag
Golf.com, in an article headlined “11 ways you ruin your golf round before it even starts,” listed things such as showing up too late, not getting enough sleep, etc.
Somehow not making the list: Drunkenly boasting to your playing partner you’re going to shoot your age today — forgetting that you’re only 27.
Tackled for a loss
This score just in from the canceled Cowboys-Steelers Hall of Fame Game and postponed induction ceremony in early August: COVID 19, NFL 0.
1 length apart, please
This year’s rescheduled Kentucky Derby will be run Sept. 5 with strict crowd-spacing guidelines to limit crowd density.
In other words, only the horses get to be neck-and-neck.
Talking the talk
• Blogger Patti Dawn Swansson, on the thought of reporters being required to live in quarantine for 3½ months while covering NBA teams at Disney World: “No big deal. Most of them are too big for the rides anyway.”
• Former Mississippi State QB Kyle York, 37, via Twitter, after buying one of his old jerseys for $20 on eBay: “How do I know this was mine? Easy. I put it on and immediately threw an interception.”
Penalty on the play
Eagles tight end Dallas Goedert got sucker-punched at a South Dakota restaurant.
Forget assault charges — hardcore NFL fans are demanding a targeting penalty, too.
Bears 2, Cowboy 0
Security video captured Cowboys safety Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix’s startling encounter with a mama bear and her cub in his driveway — causing him to toss his scooter and run for his life in the opposite direction.
Haven’t seen an NFL player react to an encounter with two bears like that since Dick Butkus teamed with Doug Atkins.
Raking the Leafs
Public-service tweet from Ottawa Public Health: “We admit, sometimes wearing a mask in public isn’t the most fashionable or comfortable choice. But some people wear Leafs jerseys, so yeah. Just saying.”
• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, via Twitter, on reports that COVID-19 can be spread through yelling: “You think we have a lot of coronavirus in Nebraska now; imagine if Bo Pelini was still here?”
• Giants WR Golden Tate, on the Pro Bowl moving from Orlando, Fla., to Las Vegas in 2021: “They better play the game the day the players arrive.”
• Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on reports that the highest-paid public employee in 40 states is a football or men’s basketball coach: “Clearly then, the priorities of the other 10 states need adjustment.”
• Jay Busbee of Yahoo.com, on the tenuous resumption of sports: “COVID-19 has surged back out to a three-touchdown lead on us. But believe me, I know it’s possible to come back from this kind of a deficit. I am a Falcons fan, after all.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on fantasy football: “Beginning to think in 2020 the fantasy is that we can play football.”
• Doug Farrar of USA Today, via Twitter, with the Amazing Fact of the Week: “Rich Kotite’s NFL coaching career lasted longer than the Confederacy.”