But Miss America organizers could use a few lessons from college football's overhyped award
What if beauty pageants stole a page from the Heisman Trophy playbook?
“We pretty much anoint the Heisman favorites before a single snap is taken,” noted syndicated columnist Norman Chad. “And after each week, Heisman panels are polled.
“Miss America doesn’t work this way, does it? Is there a three-month buildup in which we hear Miss Florida has ‘great legs,’ Miss Wisconsin ‘is a lock for Miss Congeniality’ and Miss Rhode Island ‘plays the hell out of the accordion’?”
Heavy as lead
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Three Cowboys offensive linemen — Marc Colombo, Cory Procter and Leonard Davis — comprise three-fourths of Free Reign, a heavy metal band.
“How heavy are they?” asked Gary Loewen of The Toronto Sun. “Well, Colombo, Procter and Davis weigh a combined 986 pounds.”
Come on down
In case you missed WWE’s “Monday Night Raw” last week, Bob Barker — the 85-year-old former host of CBS’s “Price Is Right” — dropped rassler Chavo Guerrero with two punches.
“Guerrero said it was the second-toughest loss of his career,” noted Brad Dickson in The Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, “right after the time Wink Martindale got him with a claw hold.”
Skull is in session
Some NFL players — including Seahawks linebacker Lofa Tatupu — have agreed to donate their brains to science for research on concussions.
Brain experts say they haven’t experienced this much hubbub since Igor went on the prowl for gray matter in “Young Frankenstein” and came back with Abby Normal.
Four quoters’ worth
• Len Berman of LenBermanSports.com, on Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter: “He has loving parents, a gorgeous girlfriend and all the money in the world. And Lou Gehrig was considered the luckiest man on the face of the earth?”
• ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel, with an inside tip on fan behavior: “The older you are wearing body paint at a sporting event, the more likely it is that you still live with your parents.”
• NBC’s Conan O’Brien, on free prostate exams at Yankee Stadium: “Of course, fans felt a little cheated because the Yankees advertised it as Glove Night.”
• Darryl (Chill) Mitchell, to his gap-toothed co-star in the Fox sitcom “Brothers,” ex-footballer Michael Strahan: “You know what you should do with your two front teeth? Introduce them.”
Aces in the hole
Former Pirates pitcher Steve Blass had two holes-in-one — from 154 and 175 yards away — in the same round during the team’s recent alumni golf tournament.
The key, hurling experts said, was good location on his first ball.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org