Sounds crazy but, hey, can't a guy kiss his new grillfriend? Jose Aliaga, 22, won the keys to a new car by smooching it for 54 hours 22 minutes in a marathon contest sponsored...

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Sounds crazy but, hey, can’t a guy kiss his new grillfriend?

Jose Aliaga, 22, won the keys to a new car by smooching it for 54 hours 22 minutes in a marathon contest sponsored by Rock and Pop radio in Santiago, Chile, when the last of his 26 remaining competitors fainted, reported.

“My desire for the car was stronger,” Aliaga, who was given 7-minute breaks every 3 hours, told Prensa online. “The only thing I wanted was to win this car.”

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On the downside, Jose’s lips now need to be rotated every 15,000 miles.

Q & A Dept.

What do they call it when the Indiana Pacers have to cancel their father-and-son softball game?


Beware of curves

Looks like the Show-Me State is having second thoughts.

The Missouri senate, reacting to an increase in roadside advertisements for strip clubs and porn shops, has passed a bill prohibiting nudity — defined as “any bare exposure of the skin located on a person’s body below the armpits and above the knees” — from appearing on roadside billboards.

Noted Mike Hendricks of the Kansas City Star: “Why, that’s the entire strike zone, baseball fans!”

Pitt stop

The mothballed National Hockey League season is quickly reaching the point of no return, but Randy Turner of the Winnipeg Free Press prefers to look on the bright side.

“Who’d a-thunk it, eh?” he wrote. “It’s almost January, and the Pittsburgh Penguins are still in the playoff hunt.”

The write stuff

* Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post, on the reason for the holdup on the contract extension for Texas football coach Mack Brown: “The Oklahoma alums haven’t finished passing the hat yet.”

* CBS’s David Letterman, on Paris Hilton’s new line of perfume with a secret ingredient: “Coincidentally, Barry Bonds also has cologne for the holidays with a secret ingredient, but he swears he has no idea what’s in it.”

* Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the benefits of Oklahoma banning alcohol on campus: “The new policy will produce so many talented bootleggers that a new generation of NASCAR drivers will never be more than two semesters away.”

That’s your brawlgame

In a ruling that sent shockwaves through Australian Rules Football, 22 players were suspended for more than 400 matches — one for five years — for their roles in a pregame brawl involving 50 North Cairns Tigers, Port Douglas Crocs and spectators on Sept. 18, the Australian Associated Press reported.

Reaction was mixed. A disgusted Russell Beer, the AFL Cairns president, called the melee “simply unacceptable.” Detroit and Indiana, however, immediately put in for expansion franchises.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or