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Added time? No kidding.

Daniel Engelbrecht, the German soccer player who collapsed during a match and underwent four heart surgeries in 16 months, not only returned to the Stuttgarter Kickers with a defibrillator in his chest but scored the winning goal against Wehen-Wiesbaden in the 90th minute.

“That was the greatest of feelings, and it’s probably the best day of my life,” Engelbrecht said. “It’s a story you couldn’t have scripted better. My first thought was always to just be able to return to the pitch. Everything else was really just wishful thinking — and now it’s gotten even better.”

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “Senile Warren Buffett offers $1 billion to anyone who gets every game right in College Football Playoff.”

• At TheOnion.com: “Lakers confident they just need another once-in-a-generation player to get back on track.”

Game of Thrones Dept.

Some Brits got their bloomers in a bunch because, in a breach of royal propriety, LeBron James put his hand on the shoulder of Kate Middleton when they met at a Knicks game.

So what? She’s merely the Duchess of Cambridge. He’s King James.

At a loss for words

Vegas oddsmakers ensured the biggest 49er underdogs of the Jim Harbaugh era when they favored:

a) the Seahawks by 10 points over San Francisco

b) Richard Sherman by 57 words over Michael Crabtree

Weird Fact of the Week

Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner, the reigning World Series MVP, once dated a girl named Madison Bumgarner.

Top that

So what if Mary had a little lamb? Jim Harbaugh has a cow every week.

Quote marks

• Comedian Argus Hamilton, after a Men’s Health survey proclaimed that residents of Madison, Wis., have the nation’s healthiest teeth: “Dentists in Madison say wearing cheese on your head instead of chewing it really cuts down on cavities.”

• Dennis Rodman, to ESPN, on the floundering Knicks’ struggles to learn the triangle offense: “I learned that in probably 15 minutes when I was in Chicago. It’s not that difficult. It’s a triangle.”

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, on speculation the Oakland Raiders will move back to Los Angeles: “L.A. should decline that penalty.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, with his list of the world’s most powerful people: “1) Roger Goodell. 2) Jim Delany. 3) Vladimir Putin. 4) President Obama. 5) Some college football booth review official.”

Not good on paper

“Now I see why we’ve lost so many games,” said Lakers star Kobe Bryant. “We’re soft like Charmin!”

But at least they’re good on pick-and-rolls.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com