Smile, John Stockton! Short shorts are making a comeback.

Louisville forward Jordan Nwora, for one, has gone away from the baggy look inspired by Michigan’s Fab Five in the early 1990s, explaining to the Chicago Tribune: “Some guys like to show off their legs, especially if you’ve got bounce.”

To do it, college players either wear shorts that are a size too small, or roll the waistband to hike them up.

“I actually wish mine were shorter,” said Ohio State guard Musa Jallow. “But if I keep on rolling them, it wouldn’t be appropriate.”

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “NCAA launches investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off recent college-admissions scandal.”

• At SportsPickle.com: “Zion Williamson is only good in intact shoes. System player.”

He’s a slice

Kevin Durant surprised three kids with a pizza delivery to their Minneapolis hotel room after their father, returning with the pie, had a chance meeting with the Warriors star in the elevator.

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Or, as KD fans tried to spin it, another step closer to 4,000 career assists.

Close, but no Cigar

Pioneerof the Nile, the 13-year-old sire of Triple Crown winner American Pharoah, died unexpectedly at WinStar Farm right after performing his breeding duties.

How quickly? The poor stallion was barely halfway through his cigarette.

He’s going long

A dog set a world record at a live sporting event by catching an 83-yard Frisbee toss.

And now, for his next trick: Rounding up five other dogs for a choreographed end-zone celebration.

Better your cheddar

A study says cheese tastes better after being exposed to hip-hop music.

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Coincidence? Aaron Rodgers just trademarked the Twitter handle 12pac.

No Cam do

Panthers QB Cam Newton told CBS’s James Corden he’s giving up sex for this entire month.

Don’t know about April showers, but his ones in March are going to be cold.

G-o-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-d!

UCLA men’s soccer coach Jorge Salcedo resigned after he was indicted for allegedly taking $200,000 in bribes in a fraudulent college-admissions scheme.

That’s what he gets for using his hands.

Talking the talk

• Pat Long, via Twitter, after Birmingham’s WAIT-TV posted a headline reading “Auburn wins SEX tournament” during its sports report: “I was watching the wrong tournaments this weekend.”

• ESPN basketball broadcaster Dave Pasch, via Twitter, after working his final game this season with Bill Walton: “I’M FREEEEE!!!!!”

Feathering his nest

First he plays for the Seahawks, and now the Ravens.

Say this much for Earl Thomas: He has a real affinity for the birds.

You make the call

So who will go down as the greatest QB in the history of the AAF Memphis Express — Christian Hackenberg, Zach Mettenberger, Brandon Silvers or Johnny Manziel?

Sports quiz

Attorneys for Patriots owner Robert Kraft, after being charged in a massage-parlor sting, sought a protective order to keep any police surveillance-video evidence:

a) Under seal, preventing its release

b) In a plain brown wrapper

Hey, bettor, bettor

Americans will wager $8.5 billion on this year’s NCAA tournament, according to a survey released by the American Gaming Association.

Or to put that in proper perspective, enough money for 17,000 unqualified students to bribe their way into USC.

Stat of the Week

Chad Kelly, the Broncos’ since-released backup QB, played just one snap during the 2018 season — a kneel-down — which nonetheless earned him a $354.25 bonus from the NFL’s performance-based pay program.

Rolling in bad dough

Six people were arrested in Kenya after $20 million in counterfeit $100 bills was discovered in a Nairobi bank’s safe-deposit box.

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And they might’ve gotten away with it, insiders say, if only they’d resisted the urge to put Kip Keino’s likeness on them.

Quote marks

• Jeff Gordon of STLtoday.com, on LSU coach Will Wade — suspended in the wake of the college-basketball scandal — saying it’s time to return him to action: “There’s a pretty good chance that LSU will be vacating victories, so what’s the harm in letting him pretend he is leading the Tigers to glory?”

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Tampa Bay scored its franchise-record 297th goal this season: “Who says Lightning only strikes once?”

• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Australia barring persons with a domestic-violence charge against women or children from entering the country: “So much for any potential future plans for NFL Australia.”

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on reports that Lori Loughlin’s daughter Olivia didn’t fill out her own USC application: “Apparently, she was too busy not rowing to fill it out.”

Tanks for nothing

President Trump paid a recent visit to America’s last tank factory.

Apparently it was his first Knicks game in years.

Dictionary audible

Ryan Fitzpatrick has now been employed by 25 percent of the NFL’s 32 franchises after signing with his eighth team, the Dolphins, last week.

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Which certainly makes him a quarterback in more ways than one.

Versed in first

After the Mariners’ 2-0 sweep of the A’s in Tokyo in their way-too-early season openers March 20-21, just one question: When was the last time the playoff-hungry M’s sat in first place for nine straight days?

No so fast, there

The Associated Press prematurely sent out a bulletin that Kyle Busch had won his 200th career victory in NASCAR events — only to see Cole Custer snatch the victory instead.

Thomas Dewey and Miss Colombia were unavailable for comment.

Hits keep on coming

Busch did get his 200th win the very next day to tie Richard Petty’s record, though all of Petty’s wins came in Cup races while Busch’s total also includes truck and Xfinity-level events.

“So what are my 301 base hits in A- and D-level ball, chopped liver?” asked Pete Rose.

Quote, end quote

• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, via Twitter, on the ever-widening college-admissions scandal: “It’s now alleged that Lori Loughlin & her husband bribed an official $250,000 to get their not-so-bright dog into obedience school.”

• Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, after U.S. figure skater Mariah Bell was accused of intentionally slashing a rival with her skate during a World Championships workout: “So far there has been no comment from her manager, Jeff Gillooly.”

• B.C. comic Torben Rolfsen, via Twitter, after a man was arrested on suspicion of stealing $12,000 worth sports stuff from ex-Giants pitcher William Laskey: “Who ya gonna call? Simpson Memorabilia Recovery.”

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