Knicks forward Amar’e Stoudemire says his surgically-repaired knees are feeling rejuvenated after six months of taking baths in red wine at a spa.
Coincidence? Veteran NBA watchers say he’s never looked better around the glass.
• At SportsPickle.com: “Flacco blows all his remaining elite-ness in first quarter vs. Bucs.”
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• At TheOnion.com: “Yankees, Lakers fans blow layer of dust off Cowboys hats.”
Lakers point guard Steve Nash missed practice for three straight days after he injured his back carrying his bags. A cynic might say it’s the first time an NBA player ever got penalized for traveling.
No need for blood and gore to scare the bejabbers out of folks in Oakland, Anaheim or Baltimore on Halloween this year.
Just dress up as a Kansas City Royal.
Watch your ankles
The NFL hit Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict with a $25,000 fine for twisting the ankles of Panthers players during Sunday’s game between the teams.
To hear Burfict tell it, he was merely inspecting for illegal socks.
“A study says that 78 percent of women want a husband who has a steady job,” noted comedy writer Tim Hunter. “So guys, the trick is finding one of those 22 percent that don’t mind you staying at home playing video games all day.”
Talking the talk
• Clippers star Blake Griffin, via ThePlayersTribune.com, on the difference between new Clippers owner Steve Ballmer and disgraced predecessor Donald Sterling: “Steve is a good dude. He’s like a cool dad who gives you candy. Donald was like a weird uncle.”
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after ex-QB Brett Favre completed a triathlon: “It wasn’t easy. He retired six times during the bicycle portion alone.”
• CBS’s Craig Ferguson, on rumblings of Hulk Hogan, 61, making a ring comeback: “He’s such an old wrestler, his archrival is stairs.”
• Comedian Argus Hamilton, after Cowboys running back Joseph Randle got busted for shoplifting at a Dillard’s department store: “It’s so sad. One of these days, the U.S. economy’s going to rebound and NFL players will be shoplifting at Neiman-Marcus again.”
Bring a bulldozer
Camp Bonifas, a U.S. Army base adjacent to the Demilitarized Zone in South Korea, boasts the “world’s most dangerous golf hole” — a par-3, 192-yarder that’s surrounded on three sides by land mines.
Replacing one’s divots, wethinks, might be a problem.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com