Three words that best describe continued minimum-wage fight: Stink, stank, stunk!
Oh, the weather outside is … spiteful, if you’re sitting in the CEO’s chair at Alaska Airlines, which kicked off the local holiday season of cheer with (wait for it, nog sippers … ) yet another frivolous legal assault on its lowest-paid workers!
Just when you thought a recent state Supreme Court decision finally made it safe to pay Sea-Tac Airport employees a voter-mandated $15 minimum wage, home-team Alaska has hawked up another legal challenge, this time arguing the wage initiative interferes with “airport operations.” (We anxiously await the FCC bulletin: “KSEA CLOSED indefinitely to incoming flights due to excessive compensation.”)
Ho, ho, ho! Sea-Tac ground workers, check your inbox for that holiday stocking, “filled to the brim with jack squat!” as the late Santa Chris Farley would say.
Alaska will feebly argue that jurisdictional principles at play here are more important than the pay itself. It also likes to boast that it voluntarily boosted pay to a whopping $12 an hour before the $15 court order in August. But the bottom line is the same: The highly profitable company remains hellbent on paying its lowest-paid employees less than a livable wage.
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In recognition of this longstanding, dogged devotion to simple greed, we hereby bestow upon Alaska Airlines the inaugural Wrap Department Holiday Grinch Award.
Perhaps someone can run out and paint a little scowling green villain on that fab Alaska Airlines logo the company recently paid $41 million in sofa-cushion change to scrawl on the playing surface in Husky Stadium?
More Cindy Lou Who-dunnits:
Deepest Apologies: Sorry, due to our own budget challenges, we don’t have an actual Grinch Trophy to award Alaska CEO Brad Tilden. Perhaps he can clip and save this column to display alongside a local business publication’s story hailing him as Puget Sound “Executive of the Year” for 2015.
Excuse Me, Waiter, There’s a Hairball in My Soup: This may surprise some people, but we have no real reaction to the news that Seattle is getting its first “cat café.” Hey, crazy folks gotta eat, too.
No Static at All: The U-Dub and Pacific Lutheran University now say they might accept a community-group bid for public radio station KPLU. It’s a unique opportunity for one of our half million local rich people to swoop in, save the day — and get an exclusive Carpenters double album CD or 8-track tape — all for a one-time pledge of only about $8 million.
Someone Has to Ask: Is there some chance TV-celeb-fawner Barbara Walters didn’t understand the “going away” part of retiring from TV?
Meanwhile, In the Stretch-Edition Clown Car: We remain unsure which is more disturbing: The fact that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, R-Bridge, used valuable minutes during the latest GOP “debate” to detail how he would handle an upcoming meeting with King Hussein of Jordan — or the fact that no one else on the stage seemed to know that said king has been dead since 1999.
And Finally: Mr. Wrap is off next week, so here’s a year-end thanks to all the loyal readers who consume, digest, experience the requisite gas pains, and respond to The Wrap. Wishing you all a more-palatable 2016.