If you're a resident of Edmonds, the city may have that perfect centerpiece to complete your landscaping — a 30,000-pound rock. And it'll even deliver and install it for free.

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If you’re a resident of Edmonds, the city may have that perfect centerpiece to complete your landscaping — a 30,000-pound rock. And it’ll even deliver and install it for free.

There are some catches though. The city had a little fun posting to Facebook a list of prerequisites to becoming owner of said rock:

FREE TO GOOD HOME:
One Rock. Size: Big – roughly 6’ x 7’ x 4.5’. Weight: Approximately 30,000 pounds. Answers to “Granite” but does not come when called. Serious Inquiries Only! Must reply by October 27, 2015.

City contractors excavated a large glacial erratic during the construction of a sidewalk ramp at the corner of 80th Ave W and 220th St SW. The rock cannot remain where it is, so we’re offering the stone free of charge, delivered within city limits, to the first person to meet all of the following conditions:
1. You must be an Edmonds resident;
2. The delivered location must be within City Limits;
3. You must own the property the rock would be going to;
4. You darn well better have the permission of your significant other;
5. Your property must be easily accessed by the very large equipment delivering and placing the stone. This means no skinny roadways, steep hills, private drives, or any other condition as determined by City staff, and their decision will be final;
6. The City will only deliver the rock to your property immediately adjacent to the roadway,;
7. You will be responsible for any underground utilities the rock may come to rest over;
8. The City will perform no restoration to any of your landscaping that might get chewed up in the course of the rock’s placement.
9. You’re responsible for your own landscaping’s feng shui — once the rock is on the ground, the City is not gonna nudge it ‘a little more this way.’
10. And lastly, no give-backs!

If you think you have what it takes, read on for our selection process:

Contact Ed Sibrel at ed.sibrel@edmondswa.gov if you are interested in acquiring this noble stone. Due to time constraints, only the first five inquiries received before October 27, 2015 will be considered. Inquiries will be evaluated by the above criteria, and the first person meeting all of the conditions will find themselves the proud owner of “Granite.”

 

Hat tip to Seattle Times news partner My Edmonds News.