The Wrap by Ron Judd
Mostly because they’re owned by Uncle Paul Allen, by far the coolest billionaire among us, Mr. Wrap likes the Seahawks and wishes them the best.
But, like most other people, he’s left scratching his head after the home team chose once again to draft the best available accused criminal in last week’s NFL draft.
Clearly, character is a franchise value. (Look it up: It’s right there on the priority list, nine spaces down from 4.4 speed in the 40.)
We sincerely hope first-round pick Bruce Irvin, who comes with both tremendous potential and an impressive rap sheet, seizes the opportunity to turn his life around — especially since, without his athletic gifts, he wouldn’t be getting yet another one.
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But it’s still a little unsettling when your first-round draft performance gets a “two thumbs up” rating from local celebrity defense attorney John Henry Browne.
Speaking of Irvin: Anyone else not find it comforting that coach Pete “See No Evil” Carroll, who fled USC just ahead of the NCAA probation cops, calls him the kind of player he’s been seeking for his entire career?
And Speaking of John Henry: What would Browne call last week’s war-crimes conviction of former Liberian President Charles Taylor? A missed opportunity.
Self-Horn-Blowing Emmy Awaits: KIRO-TV obviously felt like it had quite the scoop with a report on another tawdry incident involving the U.S. Secret Service. By the end of the week, the station was running promo ads about it, proclaiming (and we are not even capable of making this up): “Keep it here for exclusive coverage as the country, and the government, turn to us for answers.”
Oh, the Humanity: What a sad day it will be when the Space Needle, proud symbol of Seattle, sometime in the 2020s collapses under the crushing weight of the 565 layers of promotion-of-the-week paint atop its roof.
Silver Lining Department: If it goes, it very likely would take the Dale Chihuly Outlet / Museum of Self-Aggrandizement, with it. God’s own recycling program.
TMI Quote of the Week: “I promise you, the president has a big stick.” — Vice President Joe Biden, D-Blurt, making an allusion — one can only hope — to Theodore Roosevelt’s dictum to “speak softly and carry a big stick” in foreign-policy matters.
Speaking of CBS: Really, folks. If we wanted to see a bunch of know-nothing, twenty-something hipsters sit around a table with their laptops open and jabber away about the video clips of the day, á la the morning show “Right This Minute,” we would just go to any Starbucks.
Target-Richer Environment: The Army is adding an additional layer of management at troubled Joint Base Lewis-McChord. Probably won’t do anything to solve the base’s leadership problems. But it’s always nice to have more people to fire after the next snafu.
And Finally: Major huzzah to the organizers of Spokane’s May 19 Lilac Festival Parade, who have disallowed a float from the Washington Association of Wheat Growers because of a firm no-lobbyist policy for the event. It’s a good call; Once you open the door to lobbyists, you could have a 5-mile-long string of former Sen. Patty Murray aides clogging the streets.
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at email@example.com