Nearly a year ago, as time and the nonsensical myth flies, this incurable skeptic, Northwest native outdoorsman and veteran Times journalist told the Bigfoot believers of the world that he would happily believe in their long-concocted fairy tale as soon as someone produced a body, body part or some other physical evidence that the long-rumored, never (satisfactorily) documented Sasquatch actually exists.

Stunningly, this has not happened. And probably won’t, at least any sooner than someone will produce physical evidence establishing the existence of unicorns, the Easter bunny or a Pac-12 football official with 20/20 eyesight.

At the risk of quoting someone loud and famous: It’s a hoax, people. It’s all a hoax. And it long ago passed the point where its perpetrators were told in no uncertain terms: Produce some actual proof, or kindly shut up.

Reader response to this piece was ample, often dimwitted (“You can’t prove they don’t exist!”) and sometimes angrily obtuse (“How dare you encourage people to shoot them?”) but surprisingly short on outright wingnuttery.

Except in one case (there is always one case): A woman claiming to be a veterinarian, from Texas (it’s always Texas), once she got through issuing a stream of invective about journalists, including this one, being paid handsomely to keep the Real Truth About Bigfoot squelched (Uh, we can get paid for this? Where do we sign up?), actually engaged in an email conversation in which she said some startling things.

The most intriguing: She had physical DNA samples from ’Squatches that were tested and proved to be from an unknown mammal — easily disproved in a quick search, which turned up a story about her and her fake summation of fake evidence tested in a fake lab (albeit from another journo probably being paid to lie!).


And oh, yeah: She also has a small community of Sasquatches somewhere nearby that she regularly, well, interacted with. She would show them to us, in fact, if we were willing to make a trip down there, and she felt like she could trust us.

Needless to say, this has not happened.

Meantime, the relentless Bigfoot/gullible person entertainment complex — the persistence and seeming expansion of which, frankly, prompted the piece in the first place — continued to crank out faux documentaries about supposed tantalizing new discoveries putting dogged Bigfoot researchers within sniffing distance, but never actually in sight of, the fabled, nonexistent creature.

Darn the luck!

So I’ll repeat what I said at the end of that piece, for posterity: Show me a dead one, and we’ll talk.