by Rebecca Teagarden photographed by Courtney Blethen WHEN I MOVED to Seattle 20 years ago there were three things that amazed me about...

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WHEN I MOVED to Seattle 20 years ago there were three things that amazed me about the Northwest: mountains on either side of me no matter where I was, water on either side of me no matter where I was, and . . . chainsaw bears.

Chainsaw bears.

I . . . love . . . chainsaw bears.

Particularly the black ones with black noses usually waving a friendly wooden paw and most often spotted standing along a country road. This breed is the Tom Selleck of chainsaw bears. Cute at every age.

The recent TV commercial featuring the chainsaw bear as toilet-paper dispenser filled me with envy. Where can I get one of those? I think that every time I see that ad.

And the more I say it out loud the more my husband, a native, fears I might just go out and find one. That’s what all the natives I know say, too.

“You want that?”

They are shaking their heads and making a bad-smell face when they say it. And they think that perhaps I am not as cool as they thought I was only moments before.

I am not, and I don’t care.

I love the bear.