Johnny Depp loves smoking so much he wishes he had two mouths.

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Johnny Depp loves smoking so much he wishes he had two mouths.

“I want to have another mouth grafted onto my face to smoke more. Instead of three packs a day, I want to smoke six packs a day,” he said in a Cosmopolitan interview.

It is an evil pleasure, and top movie stars have long punctuated their lines with that ever-present prop.

Cate Blanchett smokes so much as Bob Dylan in “I’m Not There” it parches the throat.

My father, having grown up with Humphrey Bogart and Gary Cooper, could do anything with a cigarette in his mouth. Anything.

Once, at a scouting function in Missouri’s Babler State Park, he took off in the 60-yard, piggyback races with me hanging on his shoulders, cigarette clenched tight.

Slow off the mark, Dad got his second wind and sprinted ahead at the end, winning the race over all those nonsmokers — then celebrated by lighting up.

Conservatively, he consumed more than 1,250,000 Camel unfiltereds in his life.

He could not wait to get up early for that first one of the day with a coffee.

Camel never sent so much as a thank you or a gift carton. His reward: arterial sclerosis and a quadruple bypass.

We sent him off at age 83 with three or four packs and a gold cigarette lighter from his half-brother — just like the ancient Egyptians did, burying their dead with items that might be needed in the beyond.

It was an evil pleasure.