From millennial to ‘unc,’ all in one light rail ride

Staring down my 40th birthday, I was one week away from that dreaded milestone. And I was slowly careening into unc status.

According to Merriam-Webster “unc is a slang term that is a shortening of the word uncle and is often used … in the phrase ‘unc status’ to imply that someone is old.”

I was heading to the 40th birthday party for my friend Sue, whom I knew from high school in south Snohomish County. Sue specifically chose Stoup on Capitol Hill, known for its acceptance of both dogs and children.

I arrived on the North Shoreline light rail station platform, holding a wine bag containing a midrange chardonnay. While waiting for the train, I doodled a Mariners compass logo on the small card looped through the handle of the bag. In the card, I wished her a happy birthday and then proceeded to give the doodle a little more of a personal touch, adding the numbers #11, #24, #51 and #19 around the logo for the lifetime Mariner fan. I probably did this exact drawing as a fourth grader in 1996.

The train pulled up to the platform, and it was completely packed. Wall-to-wall with people heading to either a Mariner or a Kraken game, both scheduled at the same time. I squeezed through a half-dozen people and made it to the center of the car.

At Shoreline South, a bold, small group of four made their way through the throng into the center of the train. In this group were three middle-aged women and a 10-year-old girl. 

Everyone was packed in and miserable. Up in each other’s business. Sensing some space directly behind me, perhaps enough for half a person, I looked over my left shoulder and right shoulder. On either side was a pair of 20-somethings. After jerking my head around a second time in a repeated left-to-right motion, one of them let me know that there was no space.

And then my unc status kicked in.

“You mean to tell me there’s not room for a shoulder, YOUNG MAN?!” (I didn’t actually say “young man,” however, it was heavily implied)

I continued, “There’s not enough space for me to drop a shoulder back there to give a little more space for this little girl here?”

And then — perhaps to their chagrin, or eyerolls that I didn’t catch (or chose not to acknowledge because I knew I was right) — they obliged and I slotted my shoulder in. The girl got a little more space.

A few stops later the train pulled in to the U District. Two 20-something men got up from their seats and began to make their way to the doors, meekly muttering about how they wanted to exit.

Unc status.

“USE YOUR ELBOWS, SON!” (I’m 90% sure I didn’t actually say “son,” but it was also heavily implied). “Raise your voice!” I continued. And sure enough, they made it through the train doors before the train left the platform.

I got off at Capitol Hill Station and arrived on Broadway, feeling more affirmed in the neighborhood than I had in years. I no longer felt the tug of wanting to remain current and relevant to youthful in-vogue styles and tastes. I was just a salty old Seattle unc who dressed badly and still remembered the taste of Kingdome nachos.

I was growing comfortable entering this new….

Did those two guys just check out scooters and start riding them on the sidewalk? There’s a two-way, protected bike lane that goes all the way down Broadw… .

“HEY! RIDE THOSE SCOOTERS IN THE BIKE LANE! That’s what it’s there for!”

The two looked over their shoulders and then dropped off the curb into the bike lane.

I’m liking my unc era.