A Journey Through Dementia, 2007

Originally published August 4, 2007 at 12:00 am

Betsy Meyer was 46 when she learned she had early onset dementia. At 53, her impairment has become so profound that her family can no longer care for her. On July 13, the day she was moved to an adult family home in Renton, her son, Alex, comforts her. She was sobbing, looked at him and said, “Thank you.” “That’s when I lost it,” Alex says.

Jeff, Betsy’s husband of 25 years, vowed to care for her at home as long as possible. But after she had a seizure six months ago, her already dwindling abilities declined dramatically. She began chanting and jabbering and became fully dependent on Jeff to bathe, dress and feed her.

When Betsy was no longer able to walk up stairs, Jeff turned their living room into their bedroom. Because she couldn’t remember how to stand up, he would patiently coax her.

Jeff brushes Betsy’s hair, one of the daily personal tasks he did for her.

When Betsy grew fearful of water, Jeff began shampooing her hair with a special microwaveable cap.

Daughter Emily prays during a visit by the family’s pastor, Joel Ingebritson, who has come to give Betsy communion. After her mom’s disease was diagnosed, Emily dreamed of ways to raise money for a cure. Now 16, she’s formed “Team Betsy” to participate in a fundraiser for the Alzheimer’s Association.

Periods of crying became a routine for Betsy; Jeff came to expect them around the same time every morning.

On Betsy’s last morning at home, Emily says goodbye to her mom before the move to the adult family home in Renton.

Because she could no longer negotiate steps or sitting in a car, Betsy’s move from home in West Seattle to the adult family home required a wheelchair and cabulance. Betsy’s sister, Elaine Harrison, helps the driver move Betsy down the front steps.

On the day Betsy was moved from her West Seattle home, Jeff reaches back to pat her while he reviews paperwork for her new adult family home. At first he resisted moving her but has since made peace with the decision.

Arriving at the adult family home for the first time, Betsy is surrounded by her family, her new caregiver, Maria Aitonean, right, and the cabulance driver.

Betsy meets her new caregiver, Maria Aitonean, who introduces herself and her cat.

Alex, Betsy’s son, and Elaine Harrison, Betsy’s sister, help prepare her new room. Alex has always been able to spark his mom’s hearty sense of humor.

Jeff sits on Betsy’s new bed while Alex guides his mom around her room at the adult family home.

Jeff says goodbye at the end of a visit with Betsy in her new home, where the couple’s portrait hangs on the wall of her room. Betsy has had difficulties adjusting, but her new caregiver hopes she will adapt with time and changes in her medication. A family member visits every day.

After visiting Betsy in the adult family home, Jeff makes a last check on his wife through the window of her new room, where her life is now spent mostly without him.

KAREN MATTHEWS

Associated Press

KAREN MATTHEWS

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