Seattle Dating Scene features readers’ thoughts and stories about what it’s like to date in Seattle.

For our next feature, follow this promptHave the perfect meet-cute story? Or a great first date? In under 500 words, tell us how you met your significant other, and send in your story and a photo.

By Thursday, May 27, please email your submissions to dating@seattletimes.com, or submit them via Instagram direct message to @dating_in_seattle, and they may be printed in a future edition of The Mix.

_________________________________________________________________________

Ask Marina

Marina Resto, who runs the lively @Dating_in_Seattle Instagram account, answers reader questions about dating — or finds a special guest to answer the ones she can’t! 

Dear Marina,

I’m worried that no one will want me the way I want to be wanted.

First off, make sure you tell them how you want to be wanted. Communication is so important, especially in the beginning of relationships. You may be trying to avoid coming off as “needy” or “high maintenance,” but it is crucial to communicate the expectations you have for one another throughout the entire process — even before you’re “official.” Don’t make it a guessing game. Far too many times we choose to set aside our feelings because we don’t want to make a big deal of something that is bothering us, when in reality it just takes communicating our needs to one another to alleviate problems. I know that you will be wanted — the way you want — as long as you communicate your wants and needs up front.

Advertising

***

Dear Marina,

I’m having a hard time moving to offline dating. How do I start again?

Be patient with yourself and take things one step at a time. Get outside more often, even if only to take a walk or grab a coffee. Baby steps will help you adapt to getting out and about, and feeling more comfortable. Try striking up a conversation at a park or coffee shop, or just being more vocal and friendly in general. Many of us are adjusting to life now that things are opening back up and vaccines are more accessible to everyone. You’re not alone. Keep your chin up!

***

Dear Marina,

I can’t get any dates or matches from online dating apps. I don’t know if online dating is for me but have no idea how to meet people in real life.

Have you tried other ways of dating? There are some dating websites that offer more robust platforms with a larger pool of people. If that’s not your cup of tea, there are plenty of social groups around Seattle, where you can find like-minded people that have similar interests/hobbies as you. Sports leagues in the city have also been starting to open up. Give kickball a try, learn how to row crew or find out if table tennis is your new thing. The city of Seattle, community colleges and other local businesses are a great place to learn a new skill or master a hobby, plus it gives you the opportunity to meet new people.

***

Dear Marina,

My online dating matches seem to all be the same. They are either socially inept tech “bros” or completely self-absorbed.

If you are stuck in a rut where you are getting the same type of match results, maybe it’s time to change up some of the ways you’re getting matches. I challenge you to go out with someone you typically wouldn’t. Swipe on people you may not typically swipe on. Try and meet someone who isn’t your “type” from the looks of their profile. Give someone a shot you might not have. Sometimes when we try something out of our comfort zone, it has a way of surprising us. There are plenty of people who are in relationships or who are married who said they would not have swiped “right” or matched with their now partner if they would have seen them on a dating app before meeting them. Keep an open mind and try branching out.

Here’s the monthly “Seattle Dating Scene” lineup:

  • First week: “Dating Question of the Month” — Readers respond to a dating-related question we’ve posed.
  • Second week: “How We Met” — Have the perfect meet-cute story? Or a great first date? In under 500 words, tell us how you met your significant other, and send in your story and a photo.
  • Third week: “Best Date/Worst Date” — In under 250 words, tell us an anecdote from the best or worst date you’ve been on.
  • Fourth week: “Ask Marina” — Marina Resto, who runs the lively @Dating_in_Seattle Instagram account, answers reader questions about dating — or finds a special guest to answer the ones she can’t!
Seattle Dating Scene

More