Seattle Dating Scene features readers’ thoughts and stories about what it’s like to date in Seattle. For our next feature, follow this prompt: Describe the best, worst or most interesting date you’ve ever been on.
By Thursday, Feb. 4, please email your submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org or submit them via Instagram direct message to @dating_in_seattle, and they may be published in a future edition of The Mix.
Dating Question of the Month
What are off-topic subjects with your partner/people you date — and why?
Answers have been edited for spelling and clarity.
“When a date asks me why I got divorced. ‘It’s a painful subject,’ typically closes down further questioning, but for those who press on, I become irate, but explain in detail.”
“How many sexual partners I’ve had, it’s honestly no one’s business. Knowing that information does nothing for either person and usually just ends in judgment and jealousy. However, it does help me notice the red flags of someone who is jealous.”
“Unless they have a really, really interesting job (I’m talking about doing surgery on tigers or something), I don’t want to talk about work on the first date! We waste so much of our lives at work anyway, why not spend our leisure time talking about all of the other stuff that we do!”
“Nothing is off-topic. My partner and I feel we should be able to discuss anything with each other, even when it’s not easy.”
“Girls’ night/girls’ conversations. If you want me to keep your secrets, you should respect my decisions to keep my friends’ secrets as well. It’s only fair.”
“Off-topic is the amount of money I make. If you want to date me, you want to date ME. I’m a gig worker in the arts, which means I go from job to job, and do a lot of random stuff, BUT never in my life have I paid a bill late. I don’t have a LOT of money, but I have enough to live and have a social life and pay for my own stuff, and I absolutely love my life.
Sometimes it makes me feel inadequate when nine-to-fivers talk about how much money they make, or ask me how much money I make, because I KNOW it’s significantly less and they put more value in money than I do, so I feel like they would see me in a different light/think less of me if they knew how much was sitting in my bank account.
But if you like me because I’m a great person, have amazing relationships and can emotionally, physically and lovingly support you while we enjoy life together, that should be enough. I never ask you to pay my way, so you either like me for me or you don’t.”
“Asking if we are a couple or not. If you have to ask, you know the answer.”
“Nothing is off-limits for me and my partner in our relationship. We have made a promise to be upfront and honest, and also to not linger too long if we are stressing in order to bring something up to one another. Getting things out in the open sooner rather than later is always the best way to go. Money was a hard one because we have such different backgrounds, but we explain things from our perspectives, and give each other the time and respect we deserve.”
“I really don’t want to hear about/talk about exes. I just feel like nothing good can ever come of it.”
Come hang out with our Seattle Times dating team in this pre-Valentine’s Day event
Got that single friend making it through months of quarantining alone? Virtually pitch them for a (socially distanced, COVID-19-safe, and/or virtual) date, or just hang out and watch other people pitch their friends! Check out more info on our Feb. 12 virtual event here: st.news/datingppt
Here’s the monthly “Seattle Dating Scene” lineup:
- First week: “Dating Question of the Month” — Readers respond to a dating-related question we’ve posed.
- Second week: “Happy Anniversary, Tell Us Your Story” — Have an anniversary coming up this month? In under 500 words, tell us how you met your significant other, and send in your story and a photo.
- Third week: “Best Date/Worst Date” — In under 250 words, tell us an anecdote from the best or worst date you’ve been on.
- Fourth week: “Ask Marina” — Marina Resto, who runs the lively @Dating_in_Seattle Instagram account, answers reader questions about dating — or finds a special guest to answer the ones she can’t!