Seattle Dating Scene features readers’ thoughts and stories about what it’s like to date in Seattle. For our next feature, follow this prompt: Describe the best or worst date you’ve ever been on.
By Thursday, Sept. 17, please email your submissions to email@example.com or submit them via Instagram direct message to @dating_in_seattle, and they may be published in a future edition of The Mix.
Dating Question of the Month
We asked readers to tell us: “If you could change one thing about dating culture in Seattle, what would it be?”
Here’s what people said.
Answers have been edited for spelling and clarity.
“People are way too concerned about what area other people live in. I will spend an hour to go see the right person. Distance is probably the LEAST important part of the right match! I live in Burien because I bought a condo here. I’m proud to be a homeowner when most people my age are renters, so people acting like I live in Siberia gets really old. It’s so hard to find the right person, what are the odds that they happen to live within a mile radius or the same neighborhood you happen to be renting in?”
“Some men seem to go on dates just to seek validation and not actually excited to pursue me.”
“In general people not taking the initiative to approach one another. People fear rejection too much and it’s honestly just a numbers game. The more people you approach the more likely you are someone will engage in a conversation which could lead to friendship or a potential relationship.”
“I wish women would be more willing to approach men and be more forward and clear from the start.”
“Embrace the unique. We aren’t all tech nerds who like hiking and drink craft beer.”
“It’s a systemic issue versus a local one: our swipe culture has made purchasing food, goods and services so easy, seamless and convenient. It has conditioned us subconsciously to apply that same metric to our dating apps and, in effect, each other … forgetting we are complex, emotional beings that require a deeper level of connection, communication and interaction.”
“The nightlife isn’t that great. When I started my Seattle dating life, I came from Miami where people would dress up and make plans for the full night … but in Seattle, it’s very casual. I’m a planner type of person so maybe that rubbed some girls the wrong way. On my last date, I planned putt-putt golf and I made reservations at a restaurant. She thought I was crazy to have so many things planned out.”
“People actually need to show up for the proposed date and time, instead of rescheduling three times.”
“At least among my friends, I’m unique in that I don’t do dating apps because they’re just not for me! I like traveling to other cities and countries. I feel like people there are more open to striking up a conversation with a stranger, but people here are so not like that. It plays a little into the Seattle Freeze stereotype, but I think it’s more of an unwillingness of people to put themselves in situations where they might feel uncomfortable. Since I don’t online date, I very rarely get asked out because that would require someone to approach me in person out of the blue. I’ve mitigated it by being the initiator when I’m interested, but it still doesn’t make for a very robust dating life!”
“Ghosting. I’m not offended if I’m not what you’re into, but people should be OK saying that or hearing it.”
Here’s the monthly “Seattle Dating Scene” lineup:
- First week: “Dating Question of the Month” — Readers respond to a dating-related question we’ve posed.
- Second week: “Happy Anniversary, Tell Us Your Story” — Have an anniversary coming up this month? In under 500 words, tell us how you met your significant other, and send in your story and a photo.
- Third week: “Best Date/Worst Date” — In under 250 words, tell us an anecdote from the best or worst date you’ve been on.
- Fourth week: “Ask Marina” — Marina Resto, who runs the lively @Dating_in_Seattle Instagram account, answers reader questions about dating — or finds a special guest to answer the ones she can’t!