At The Escondite, in the back of live-music venue Chop Suey, be prepared for drunk food to the max. No calorie counting here.
Because sometimes a bacon cheeseburger dripping with maple syrup just isn’t enough, now you can get it sandwiched between a honey-dip doughnut.
This ballyhooed burger, “The Fat Albert,” is served at The Escondite, a sandwich shack on Capitol Hill. And that isn’t even its most gluttonous offering.
That honor goes to “The Hendrix,” a burger topped with deep-fried battered cream cheese, deep-fried jalapeño crisps, sautéed mushrooms and onions, with a tangy sauce that’s asked to do the impossible — cut into all that salty grease. (Mercifully, it’s served on a regular bun.)
These burgers make the decadent mac-and-cheese at the nearby Melt look like Weight Watchers food.
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Spanish for “hideout,” The Escondite started on Skid Row in Los Angeles in 2011 and expanded to Seattle this February, making its home in the back of the live-music venue Chop Suey.
Here, order from the back. Eat in the front. The front bar is a vaguely nautical-themed dive with a zigzag-patterned couch and torn lounge chairs that could have come from your grandma’s basement.
It’s not meant to be seen in daylight. And neither is the food.
The Escondite is for brunch at midnight after you’ve rocked out to Ghost Soda on an empty stomach. Or for bar hoppers who Uber to the Chinatown International District for greasy beef chow fun noodles after last call.
There’s a grilled pastrami with deep-fried pickles; a “Captain Kangaroo” burger layered with cheddar, Canadian bacon and an egg, with gravy and Cholula hot sauce poured over.
Then there’s that doughnut burger: a 6-ounce patty coated with melted provolone, thatched with bacon, bound with maple syrup, the spongy doughnut absorbing the fat drippings and sugar. It is hard to conquer, with no pickles or acidity to cut into the richness. Maybe you finish half. Maybe you share.
It’s a mingling of syrupy-sweetness and porky-saltiness, like biting into pancakes with bacon or chicken and waffles, only with a zillion more calories.
It will also taste three times better if you’re drunk or high. Or both.
The Escondite, 1325 E. Madison St., Seattle (located inside Chop Suey), offers happy hour weekdays 4-8 p.m. with $2 off on appetizers. The bar offers happy hour weekdays from 4-8 p.m. with $3 tallboys, $4 well drinks and $1 off draft beer (theescondite.com).