All the beauty gurus agree on these false eyelashes that attach with magnets.

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The problem is that I didn’t listen to the beauty gurus.

The beauty gurus — those women and men on YouTube and Instagram who try on every makeup and skin-care product and then offer their opinions — almost never agree. This is, of course, because people have different skin and different needs and different opinions about what looks good.

So when all of the beauty gurus resoundingly agreed that a new product was terrible? I should have listened. I should not have bought said product. And I absolutely, positively should not have tried to use it for the first time right before going out for a big night.

Let me save you from the same ill fate. No matter how awesome they sound (and they sound so awesome!), those new magnetic false eyelashes are absolute junk.

First, some background. My natural eyelashes aren’t very long, and it takes a tremendous amount of product and coaxing to stop them from hanging straight down over my eyes. So when I’m going out and want to put in a little extra effort, I wear false eyelashes.

I’ve worn them enough that I can apply them quickly and accurately, but there’s a pretty steep learning curve in the beginning. It often takes about 10 times as long to apply them as you think it should. Also, many people are freaked out by the idea of applying glue to their eyelids.

But the main reason I was eager to abandon traditional false eyelashes is simply because they don’t last very long. I can usually get only a few wearings out of a pair of falsies before they’re headed for the trash.

So when I saw the Ardell Magnetic Lashes ($12 at, I couldn’t add them to my cart fast enough.

The idea is this: Instead of donning one strip of false eyelashes across the lash line, you wear two that sandwich your natural lashes, held in place by tiny, powerful magnets. No glue!

In theory, that meant the lashes would last longer and would be easier to apply. (Put it in the wrong place? Just take it off and try again!)

In practice, they were comically, comically bad.

Normal false lashes are glued to your eyelid. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get the magnetic lashes to stay close to my skin. They floated out, sometimes centimeters from my lid, so there would be a stretch of my natural lashes and then suddenly lots and lots of fake eyelashes (made even worse because they are double the amount of fake lashes a person would typically wear).

The problem is that there are only a few magnets on each lash. There is absolutely no way to apply them and not have them look ridiculous. Ridiculously bad, ridiculously fake; take your pick.

I know how cool and tempting these sound. But if you do decide to try them, despite all warnings to the contrary, I have just one thing to say: I told you so.