Q: I will soon be leaving my current job because my husband has accepted a position in another state. However, we intend to delay my relocation until we can sell our home and find a suitable place to live. Since I have no idea how long this will take, I don’t know when I should notify my boss that I will be leaving.

If I bring this up now, I won’t be able to give him a definite date for my resignation. But if I wait too long, I may not have enough time to train the person who replaces me. What’s the right thing to do in this situation?

A: While your concern for your employer is admirable, this is a time to put yourself first. As soon as you mention leaving, management will view you as a lame duck and begin pondering your replacement. This could not only reduce your effectiveness at work, but also present a problem if your circumstances should unexpectedly change.

Once your relocation date is firm, you can then decide how much notice to give your employer. But until that time, don’t mention your pending departure to anyone at work. Shared secrets have a way of leaking out.