Puppymonkeybaby, a Muppet-esque smiling intestine, singing sheep. Here's a look at the best and worst commercials from Super Bowl 50.
For non-sports fans, the Super Bowl is just a thing that happens between the commercials, which are supposed to be the best of the best. But often, they are also the best of the worst. This year was no exception.
Here are a few of our “favorites” from this year’s run.
File Under: We’ll Never Sleep Again
Every year, there’s a clear winner among the Super Bowl commercials. Usually, the ad is universally funny, moving or thought provoking. This year’s most talked about commercial is going to give the entire nation nightmares for the next month. Three dudes are sitting on the couch and this creature with a pug’s face, monkey’s midriff and baby’s bottom comes out with Mountain Dew’s new drink only to talk, dance and lick their faces. Watch if you dare — you will never unsee it. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
File Under: Cute Overload
What’s cuter than a bunch of Dachshunds wearing hot dog costumes and running through a sunlit field in slow motion toward their soul mates, people in Heinz mustard and ketchup costumes? Nothing. Nothing is cuter than that. (We recommend repeated viewing to cleanse brain from Puppymonkeybaby).
File Under: Best Use of a Celebrity
Dame Helen Mirren, looking amazing at the age of 70, tells off would-be drunk drivers in the most classy, British way possible: “If you drive drunk, you, simply put, are a short-sighted, utterly useless, oxygen-wasting human form of pollution,” she says in an ad produced by Budweiser. “If your brain was donated to science, science would return it.” We’ll do whatever she says.
File Under: Best Celebrity Sell Out
Actoring With Anthony Hopkins
In a mock intellectual interview about the art of acting, another Brit, Sir Anthony Hopkins, shills for TurboTax, insisting slyly that he’s not selling anything because the service is free.
File Under: We’re Still Eating! (Tie)
Perhaps cognizant that everyone would be overeating a combination of bad food, there were not one, but two ads focused on products to help your bowels. One of them featured a Muppet-esque smiling intestine hanging out at the game and getting stomach problems and running to the bathroom to take care of it. Um… awkward? The other one actually has a grown man who suffers from constipation due to opioiod use look longingly as he watches a dog go to the bathroom in the street while the announcer says, “You may be so constipated, it feels like everyone can go.”
Hey, at least no kids died this year.
File Under: We’ll Never Sleep Again, Part 2
Rude man brings Doritos to wife’s ultrasound and creepy full-formed baby in womb seems to want one of those Doritos so bad that a flying chip sends the unborn flying right out. That sound you hear is 100 million women screaming.
File Under: Best Party We Would Like to Be Invited To
Alec Baldwin, Dan Marino, Jason Schwartzman and Missy Elliot are all arguing, because Amazon’s Echo bot is pointing out that Marino won zero championships and Baldwin has zero Oscars. But someone tips the rapper off that 100 million people are watching and she tells Echo what to do. (Hint: play her awesome music.) #TeamMissy
File Under: Best Use of Sheep
A New Truck
Take standard issue “sheep herding on farm with truck” commercial, insert singing sheep and you have a winner. Make the sheep sing Queen and you have achieved peak awesomeness.
But we can’t forget…
While those were entertaining, nothing will ever top the greatest Super Bowl ad of all time, featuring Old Spice guy Isaiah Mustafa on a horse. Let’s take a moment to remember true Super Bowl greatness.