It's been fairly clear that this had been a sub-par year for "American Idol," but is it more than just a down year? Is the show headed for oblivion? Frankly, if this was the movie "Titanic," we'd be at the part where Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are running up to the top of the...
It’s been fairly clear that this had been a sub-par year for “American Idol,” but is it more than just a down year? Is the show headed for oblivion? Frankly, if this was the movie “Titanic,” we’d be at the part where Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are running up to the top of the ship as people are falling down around them, hitting every railing and spinning gruesomely into the cold, murky water. The ratings are down, that weird celebrity dancing program is doing better, and the face of the show, Simon Cowell, is about to leave for good.
It seems that even the producers of American Idol realize that their ship has hit the iceberg, as they are asking for feedback from the public. Only the truly desperate ask the public for help in deciding how the show will work (wait a second). You can rate everything, including the quality of the contestants, the judges, and even “the banter between Ryan and the judges.” Plus, you get to rate the guest judges that were on during the audition phase.
The best part of the survey was when they asked if we missed having Paula Abdul on the show. Hmmm, does a man drowning in the icy Atlantic miss having a floating ship surrounding him?
They didn’t ask, but here are my additional suggestions for them.
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First of all, fire all of the judges. Yes, even Randy Jackson must go. I realized that they are all worthless when Kara DioGuardi was making the most sense out of all of them — that means that they are all spouting nonsense and basically wasting time. Just hire back Paula for her entertainment value, hook her up to a prescription drug IV, and let’s bring happy back.
Second, hand out the songs at random. I don’t care what the theme week is, but if the contestants can’t sing any song well then they don’t belong there. The main result of this is that we will not longer hear that “song choice” was bad/good from our remaining judge.
Third, we need to see the actual voting results. And take a cue from the NBA draft lottery by sending out an accountant or two to make it all look legit (and scantily-clad women accountants wouldn’t hurt, either). Part of the reason that the results shows seem so bogus is that only Ryan Seacrest has the numbers in his little paws. He could just make them up. At least try to pretend that they are real with impressive-looking actors in three-piece suits holding pie charts and graphs.
That would be a good start. Of course, I’m sure my survey answers have as much chance of making a difference as I have in convincing my wife that I don’t need to do anything for her for Mother’s Day because she’s not my mother. Note to guys: don’t try that argument if you don’t like eating tulips.