The nonstop absurdities in the plot of this picture about a sweet-natured kid born on Mars who comes to Earth to find his teenage sweetheart leaves one choking on stifled laughter. Rating: 1 star out of 4.

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Suddenly, we’re off to Mars in “The Space Between Us.” Whoosh! Liftoff. Here we go on humanity’s first voyage to the Red Planet.

Suddenly, there’s a problem. The mission commander (Janet Montgomery) is pregnant.

Suddenly, the millions-of-miles trip is completed. Touchdown.

Movie Review ★  

‘The Space Between Us,’ with Asa Butterfield, Britt Robertson, Janet Montgomery. Directed by Peter Chelsom, from a screenplay by Allan Loeb. 121 minutes. Rated PG-13 for brief sensuality and language. Several theaters.

Suddenly, the mission commander dies in childbirth on Mars.

Suddenly, it’s 16 years later and the newborn firstborn human Martian has grown up to be a supersmart teen (Asa Butterfield) who desires to go to Earth to meet a feisty girl (Britt Robertson) with whom he’s been texting across the vastness of space.

Could be a problem, that. Raised in Mars’ less-than-Earth gravity, his body might not be able to withstand time on Terra.

No problemo! A surgical rejiggering of his bones, not unlike the adamantium retooling of Wolverine’s skeletal structure in the Marvel movies, makes him good to go and …

Suddenly, he’s on Earth, gaping at the sea (no oceans on Mars) and the greenery (none of that either) of good old Earth.

Suddenly, he escapes, with ridiculous ease from quarantine, finding his way from Cape Canaveral to Colorado where his cyber pen pal is a high-school student. Suddenly, he finds her school, which he’s never seen, and goes straight to her locker and — Tah! Dah! — there she is.

Suddenly, it’s clear this movie is ridiculous.

What about the supposed difficulty he would have coping with Earth gravity and the strain it would put on his body and especially his heart?

Yeah, what about that? No sign of difficulty in a scene where he runs to catch and climb aboard a moving biplane piloted by his young lady just before it takes off like a teen Tom Cruise. Using the stolen plane and a succession of three stolen cars, they go cross country, falling in love along the way, also a first for the kid, a naive virginal innocent.

Suddenly, the nonstop silliness of this picture leaves one choking on stifled laughter.