Movie review of “Ratchet & Clank”: In this animated movie set in space, all you can hear is the screeching and shrieking, like a kid on too many sodas. Rating: 1 star out of 4.
A kid. Of, oh, maybe 7 or so. Fueled on not one, but two — count ’em, two — super-hyper-mega-monstro-giga sodas. Available at the concession stand now!
Screeching, screaming, bouncing off walls.
There’s a word for a kid in this condition:
Movie Review ★
‘Ratchet & Clank,’ with the voices of James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, Paul Giamatti, Jim Ward, John Goodman. Directed by Jericca Cleland and Kevin Munroe, from a screenplay by Munroe, T.J. Fixman and Gerry Swallow. 94 minutes. Rated PG for action and some rude humor. Several theaters.
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“Ratchet & Clank” is the animated movie equivalent of that kid.
Screeching, screaming, bouncing around the galaxy.
And seemingly interminable.
From a video game of the same name it came.
It should have stayed where it was.
It’s a story set in space. Where all you can hear is the screaming. And screeching.
The screaming of all characters hyperventilating their lines. The screeching of not one, but two nasty villains yowling about their nefarious plans to blast a bunch of planets into oblivion. And wouldn’t you know it? One of those villains is actually named Nefarious.
Cackling, they order planets blown to bits. Howling, they command armies of robot minions to destroy — make that: Destroy! — our heroes.
Those would be the two creatures of the title: a good-hearted, small alien whozis with large ears. That’s Ratchet (voiced by James Arnold Taylor). He’s a spaceship mechanic, get it? And a sawed-off soft-spoken brainy robot named Clank (David Kaye; both actors also voice these characters in the video game).
Ratchet aspires to join the Galactic Rangers, a worlds-saving outfit headed up by a vainglorious blowhard named Qwark (Jim Ward), who is all chin and hulking torso.
Supplying voices of supporting characters are John Goodman as Rachet’s snaggletoothed boss Grimroth and Paul Giamatti as the villainous Drek.
At the end, the exertions entailed by all that worlds-saving leaves two of the good guys doubled over and tossing their cookies. After which, one shakily wails, “Make it stop!”
Couldn’t have said it better myself.