‘Chloe and Theo’: No saving this global-warming film

Ah, the little ironies.

This week, President Obama visited the Alaskan Arctic to discuss climate change with the state’s indigenous peoples, among others. No doubt he also called attention to the fact that a territorial grab by Russia and other nations is occurring as the ice cap vanishes and there’s new room up there for ruinous human activity.

Meanwhile, the horrible “Chloe and Theo” is opening, in which an Inuit man, Theo (Theo Ikummaq), is sent by his elders from a threatened Arctic paradise to tell an industrialized, consumer-driven, clueless world that the sun is going to fatally kiss the Earth if we don’t change our ways.

Here’s hoping the president made some progress with his trip. As for “Chloe and Theo,” well, 1970 called and it wants its claim on whimsical, anti-establishment, hippy-dippy movies back.

A message film aggressively precious in its glorification of marginalized street rogues and innocents, “Chloe and Theo” co-stars an unrecognizable Dakota Johnson as the titular snarling waif, who befriends and defends Theo.

A mélange of Charles Dickens, Tom Robbins and “Alex In Wonderland”-era Paul Mazursky, the film’s self-conscious ode to beautiful guttersnipes, honest outlaws, counterculture soul (the Jesus-like Theo) and victims of oppression strains for dewy relevance.

Though an opening scene of Theo trying to hunt on acres of mushy ice and snow is visually impressive, the gritty, New York backdrop in the rest of the movie lacks character and impact. That problem is also true of a paper-thin, wannabe crusader played by Mira Sorvino, who is there to suggest even mainstream types can help rescue the planet — if not this film.