Movie review of “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip”: Alvin, Theodore and Simon, half-pint helium-voiced heroes of the three past movies, are back for another cash grab with frantic song-and-dance numbers and ever more frantic stunt sequences. Rating: 1 star out of 4.

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The following is a public-service announcement.


“Exposure to ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip’ may result in the dislocation of eyeballs in viewers over the age of 7 due to uncontrollable rolling of the eyes at the sight of the idiotic antics committed on screen. To avoid eye strain, which is to say, eye sprain, avoid this movie at all costs.

Movie Review ★  

‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip,’ with Jason Lee, Tony Hale, Josh Green, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, and the voices of Justin Long, Jesse McCartney, Matthew Gray Gubler. Directed by Walt Becker, from a screenplay by Randi Mayem Singer and Adam Sztykiel. 94 minutes. Rated PG for some mild rude humor. Several theaters.

“To the parents of kids clamoring to see the picture, you have our sympathies.

“You have been warned.”

Yes, Alvin, Theodore and Simon — half-pint helium-voiced heroes of the three past “Chipmunk” movies — are back for another cash grab.

Back with the usual hyperfrantic song-and-dance production numbers.

Back with even more frantic stunt sequences like … Did you ever see “Snakes on a Plane”? Well “Chip” has dogs, birds, a porcupine, a monkey and more critters running (and flying and scampering and chittering) amok on a jet.

Back with, of course, scenes of smacks in the crotch. And chipmunk incontinence. It’s what they doo … doo. Such scenes are a series trademark. Kids love ’em.

The boys fear their daddy figure Dave Seville (Jason Lee, looking more pained than usual) is going to get married and that they’ll somehow get kicked to the curb. Alienation of affection, and all that.

So they team up with the beyond-obnoxious teen-bully son (Josh Green) of Dave’s single-mom sweetie (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) to try to thwart the romance. Somehow everyone winds up on the road to Miami. Much havoc is wreaked along the way. And much of it is wreaked on a psychotic air marshal played by Tony Hale in a manner that takes the term “overacting” to a whole ’nother level.

It all ends happily ever after. Which is to say that after six weeks in traction, those eyeballs should be good as new.