Dinosaurs in space, for reals — but could Han Solo run in heels? A poetic take on the best and worst movies of 2015.
Dear readers, hey! It’s time once more
For movie versing to outpour.
Let’s pour a cup of year-end tea
And go upon a rhyming spree.
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To start: a wish for weather fine
For fans stuck in a “Star Wars” line
And may the Force be with all those
Wide-eyed, still — at pre-dawn shows.
But here’s a query, just unfurled,
If “Star Wars” met “Jurassic World”:
Dinosaurs in space, for reals —
But could Han Solo run in heels?
Elsewhere, surely none could pout
When gazing up at “Inside Out”
Or, fixed in awe, before the sight
Of Tatum’s pecs in “Magic Mike.”
“Straight Outta Compton” was a hit
Tomlin’s “Grandma” — such a wit!
And weren’t we all in stunt-work heaven
With “Mad Max”/“Spectre”/“Furious 7”?
“Creed” brought Rocky back in view
Those “Cinderella” costumes — ooh!
“Ricki” starred a rockin’ Streep
And everyone loved “Shaun the Sheep.”
Some movies made us just ask “Why?”
Like Johnny Depp in “Mortdecai.”
Crowe’s “Aloha”? Best forgotten
Along with others misbegotten.
“No Escape?” Just Wilson, running.
“Pan”? Let’s say it wasn’t stunning.
“Pixels” met with indignation
And nobody went on “Vacation.”
“Stonewall” flopped; “The Walk,” well, stumbled;
“Burnt” just fizzled; “Legend” mumbled.
And, if you think my job’s just play,
I sat through “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
But, looking back, I’d rather dwell
On things that were, quite simply, swell:
Those “Spotlight” journos, busy poring,
Cate Blanchett’s face (it’s never boring),
That “Sils Maria” drifting sky,
The way that “Brooklyn” made me cry
“Crimson Peak’s” black-velvet gloom;
That “Martian” flight; that vivid “Room.”
Each stayed with me, for days on end —
That’s how a film becomes a friend.
(A friend who always — it’s no joke —
Brings both popcorn and Diet Coke.)
And through the year, I hope you found
Some movie pals to hang around.
So let’s remember ’15’s joys
And filter out what was just noise.
Now, squint ahead, at distant range
Look — Cumberbatch in “Dr. Strange!”
Here’s hoping that ’16’s good fun:
Happy New Year, everyone!