It seems there's little point in stocking your garage with exotic cars unless you can show them off. And what better way to look cool than...

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It seems there’s little point in stocking your garage with exotic cars unless you can show them off. And what better way to look cool than putting all your vehicles in a movie, getting attractive actors to rev the engines and bolt down desert roads.

Producer and auto enthusiast Daniel Sadek parades his personal collection of rare Porsches, Ferraris and Lamborghinis in “Redline,” a mashup of a movie with little to offer beyond the novelty of the expensive European cruisers on display.

Fight choreographer-turned-director Andy Cheng puts together a listless film that moves at the pace of a Yugo in a school zone.

If you want to see a picture with cool cars and no plot, you’re better off checking out “Death Proof,” Quentin Tarantino’s half of “Grindhouse.”

The story centers on shifty businessmen and mob bosses who bet their fortunes on outlaw races. One of the main players is Jerry (Tim Matheson), a Hollywood movie mogul with deep pockets and no scruples. Another gambler is a music-biz hot shot, Infamous (Eddie Griffin), not nearly as menacing as his name suggests. Sarcasm is his weapon of choice.

And then there’s the real villain, Michael (Angus MacFadyen), a vegetarian racketeer who talks like Gandhi yet behaves like Scarface.

All three of them are rich and lecherous, surrounded by groupies with tight clothes and blank stares. The camera leers down necklines and pans up skirts. The cars in the film are treated with more respect than the women.

Movie review

Showtimes and trailer
.5 stars

“Redline,” starring Tim Matheson and Eddie Griffin. Directed by Andy Cheng. Rated PG-13 for violence, sexual content, strong language and drug references. Running time: 95 minutes. Several theaters.

Although one of the fastest racers in the movie is a female character, Natalie (Nadia Bjorlin), she’s helpless when she’s not behind the wheel, finding herself in perilous situations awaiting rescue. Her white knight is Carlo (Nathan Phillips), a soldier just home from Iraq. He makes a remarkably smooth transition back into civilian life, partying in Las Vegas within hours of his return.

“Redline” culminates with a big desert race. It’s Natalie’s red Ferrari against a Porsche, a Mercedes and a Saleen, a highway showdown shot and chopped like a rock video exhumed from the ’80s.

The film contains the requisite bikini carwash scene. Here, the women are so thorough washing the vehicle, they actually lick it clean. It’s just the right moment for a character to puzzle, “What planet is this?”